Last year I continually asked for the unknown to show up in my life and this year it is still happening. Some days I fully embrace it, some days I trip and fall on my own resistance. I’m learning to love them all equally.

I’ve been meditating daily, some days two or three times. I’m moving my body in ways that feel supportive, running, stretching and doing exercises. I’m eating my veggies, sleeping and drinking plenty of water. There are so many boxes getting checked and yet these past few days I have been walking around like I was tied to a boat anchor. GAH! What gives? Quite simply I forgot some essentials… I forgot that everything is perfect as is. I forgot my vitamin L (love). I forgot that everything happens automatically.

I wasn’t being loving with myself. I was going through all the motions but running these really old programs in my head that said ‘this + that is not good enough and you should really start panicking any moment.’ I was spending way too much time worrying about the future. It was pretty comical really. I’d get up at 5:30 am in the morning and spend an entire hour meditating in presence and then at precisely 6:45 am I’d find myself worried about months from now.

Today I decided that enough was enough and I did what any self-respecting female would do. I went to Target. Seriously, Target was part of my self-care today. I mean, $10 organic conditioner, new kitchen sponges, a good smelling soy candle and a couple packets of Jason’s Nut Butter can’t hurt. My capsule wardrobe has saved me oodles on buying random clothes but it hasn’t kept me from the rest of the store. So it was Target first, happy hour meditation next.

I did my sisters amazing Cutting the Cord meditation half a dozen times. I’m not kidding. It took SIX times but I finally cut all the cords that were weighing me down. One-by-one I cut the cord from my body to the thing that was adding to what I was feeling. Some I let go of lovingly and they melted away, others I wanted to give a giant fuck all, which is why I had to do it six times. 

Friends, I’m here to tell you it really is all perfect especially in the moments when you want to scream profanities. I say go for it if that makes it feel better. I have been trying to curse more lately because it feels so damn good. It moves energy and resistance in big ways. When I get overwhelmed that’s my cue that I’m resisting something.

What I know is that I always have had everything I need and I always will. That brings me great comfort. When I look back at the timeline of my life I never imagined that I’d be living in an RV in love with a tremendous human and one fur face little old man (Ned will be 15 this year).

I see that my perceived physical limitations are really blessings and I accept my breathing everyday in any form it shows up in that day. Acceptance and lack of judgment creates space in my life and my body for easy breathing to move through me. If you live with any kind of physical pain or discomfort this is for you to really listen to. Seriously, read this whole part again.

When we can learn how to be with and love ourselves not only through the muck but LOVE the freaking muck itself then we will all be free. That’s where I’m at. I’m in the stage of moving from seeking freedom to embodying it. I’m learning to love it all… the joy, the pain, the sickness and health. Cliff and I didn’t say traditional vows but I’m having a crazy ah-ha moment writing this right now and thinking about the vows we take to share life together in its entirety. It’s all perfect, beautiful, infuriating, riveting, engaging and just so worth it. Following this I will be writing some vows to speak to myself and I invite you to join me if you feel moved to do so.

Hoping that sharing real time experience is as helpful for you as it is therapeutic for me.

Love,
Lacy

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin

I slept like it was the night before a test last night. I woke up at 3 am when Ned’s feeder went off and was in and out of sleep through the wee hours of the morning. I had just drifted back to sleep when my alarm went off at 5:30 am. I got out of bed to stumble the 6 steps from the bedroom to the kitchen in our RV to turn off the alarm with a focused thought —- ‘I am worth it. I am ready. Let’s do this!’ My desire for the life I want was (IS) so much bigger than my desire to slip back in between our toasty flannel sheets.

I dressed while peeing, brushed my teeth and rinsed my face. In the dark of the morning I sat at the front of the bus on our couch wrapped in blankets and wearing mittens feeling like a huge success. As I sat up straight and readied myself for meditation I realized that I’d conquered two of my (former) beliefs that ‘I am not a morning person and I hate to be cold.’ I giggled at myself as the guided meditation began. An hour later with my eyes still closed I could feel the light of morning all around me. I placed my left hand on my chest and with tears rolling down my face I gave thanks for all that I’d just seen, experienced and created in meditation.

I continued through the morning as planned. I smooched Cliff who was now awake too, made my morning elixir, sat with him in the living room talking about the day ahead. I then once again braved the cold to go outside and workout among the trees.

It is time for the next chapter. It is time for change. It is undeniable. It is happening and has already happened. It is.

The last time I had this feeling was 2012 when I stopped binge eating.

I was in Hawaii dog/house sitting for a new friend. I remember being excited to have a space to myself so that I could eat and drink whatever and as much as I wanted because after all, I deserve it! I went to the best local wine/ fine foods store around and bought a bottle of wine, a bottle of champagne, a 6 pack of beer, my favorite vegan cookie, tortilla chips, gourmet salsa and nice dark chocolate. I opened a beer and unwrapped my lemon poppy seed cookie. I wrapped the cookie in foil and placed it in the oven to warm. As I took my first sip of Negro Modelo I was awash with disappointment. Why wasn’t this fun? Why didn’t this beer taste like freedom? I pressed on thinking that maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for beer. When the cookie was warm I pulled it from the oven and unwrapped it like a package on Christmas morning. THIS was going to be amazing. I was going to eat the whole thing free of guilt and I was going to feel SO deliciously full that all my sadness and uncertainty would go away (at least for a little while).

I remember looking at the cookie there on the counter feeling that something was different. Why wasn’t this working? I knew before I ever tasted it that it wasn’t going to give me the love that I was looking for. I knew that only I could do that. I took a bite and started to cry. It was perfectly crispy on the outside and chewy in the middle just like I liked and it was ALL-wrong. I ate half of it and felt empty. I finished the beer and my heart and stomach began to ache. I tried the chips next, then the chocolate. I opened the wine and took a sip straight from the bottle. Everything tasted like bitter disappointment and a waste of money. I felt trapped, anxious and unsure of what to do next. There were so many feelings bursting from me and I felt like the world was closing in around me. I wondered if this is what a panic attack feels like?

I laid down on the floor curled in a ball alongside the dog and cried. I asked for help. For direction. For something to help me move from this consuming feeling of doom. I was replaying a movie montage of the most tragic and disappointing moments of my life on repeat. Comfort food and drink had let me down and I was left to feel and fully experience every excruciating sensation.

When I couldn’t cry anymore I peeled myself from the floor and asked the dog if he wanted to go for a ride. His innocent eyes and wagging tail exclaimed, Yes! Please! I got lost twice trying to find the grocery store with the most local and organic produce but finally found it. I came back and juiced enough for three days and sat down at the desk with sticky notes. I wrote down, ‘I will drink juice for the next three days.’ ‘I love my 153 pound body.’ That was my goal weight at the time. ‘I am safe to feel my feelings.’

When I was hungry or sad or angry or frustrated or disappointed or anything negative I did one of a few things… First I always took a breath and said, ‘Lacy, you’re going to be ok. This is ok. YOU ARE OK.’ Then I would shower. Or take the dog for a walk. Or stand outside and feel the sun on my face. I juiced almost exclusively for the next two weeks and not because I made myself or decided I’d suffer through. I did it because I wanted to and because each time I drank a juice I felt GOOD about myself. I felt the old story changing. I could see my future and that horribly sad movie montage lost it’s power over me. Self loathing was being replaced with self love.

That was it. I was changed. I never binged again. The ability to successfully binge has been stripped from my being. I was no longer afraid to feel my feelings. I had grown in the darkness and been born into the light once again. I allowed myself the time to move from rigidity and fear into a safe and fluid space. I stopped looking and responding outwardly and embraced inward work. I allowed myself to see the truth that I was enough, always had been and always would be.

This next chapter of waking early, meditating and moving my body in a pleasurable way is me showing up for the life that I want to live. This is full out living. This is joyous living. This is creating my days.

I am sharing all of this with you real time to invite you to join me. I will be waking early and meditating, then working out 6 days a week for the month of March. I’m giving myself the gift of a month of inspired action. No excuses. At the end of the month I’ll circle back with what I’ve learned and decide where to go from here. A month feels really good for me. You can do a month too or start with a week. It’s totally up to you. There are no rules here. Just go with what feels most light in your body and go with what feels like a combo of scary/ exciting. That’s when you’ll know you’ve found it.

What step can you take to actively create your days? What kind of life do you want to live? Who do you want to be? This is the way change happens. You make a decision and then take steps that support that decision. My desire is to live a life free from suffering and to embody the WHOLE HEALTH that I am in every breath I take. My desire is for boundless energy to do the work that I LOVE in helping others find their way and tap into their infinite wisdom and potential.

Proclaim it today. Share here in the comments if you feel moved to or email me here. Let’s hold each other in the light of our desires! Let’s support each other to be our highest selves.

We can do this.
YOU CAN DO THIS!

To freedom,
Lacy

P.s. Just as I was about to publish this I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to check my phone. My dear friend sent me a text to say that three years ago today we were in Hawaii together. FULL ON GOOSEBUMPS. She was the one who introduced me to the friend that I dog/ house sat for. I went to Hawaii for some space, to make some decisions about my life and marriage and to learn how love myself. It was a truly difficult time and without my having to say anything she could sense that everything was shit and so she got on a plane to Hawaii and we spent a week together in a fancy hotel, driving around the island, devouring The Hunger Games series, drinking umbrella drinks, eating ‘slightly expensive blocks of cheese‘ dinner and candling each others ears in the hotel room (thank god we didn’t burn the place down). We lovingly call it our “friendlymoon” because people kept mistaking us for a lesbian couple on our honeymoon. I’m forever changed for having been truly loved and seen. It was a week after she left that I had my moment in the kitchen with my former favorite lemon poppy seed cookie. I’m reminded that change starts with love and can’t help but feeling like all we did together and her presence there the week before gave me the strength I needed to move through the darkness. Thank you, Leigh. Thank you forever.

Last week a gal sent this over to me. The poem reminded her of my message and that simple sentence reminded me how important it is that we all share our message.

I LOVE REAL FOOD.

Food used to confuse and frustrate me. I used to blame it and hate it for the excess fat on my body and yet I’d eat and eat until I was sick at my stomach. Then I’d spend lots of time hating myself and eating some more because ‘WHY NOT. I’ll start over again tomorrow.’ And tomorrow would come and I’d look in the mirror and prove once again that I was fat and miserable. Everything was heavy and dark. I had no idea where to begin or what changing my relationship with food would do for my life and body.

These days food feels like home and ease. I don’t struggle anymore. I don’t feel guilt anymore. The lightness I feel reading this poem is like the lightness I feel in my body and in my life. I look in the mirror now and see love. I am proud of my body and of myself. Wow, even just writing that out feels like a gift.

I want that for you with all my being. I want you to feel freedom from all that is heavy and dark in your life. There is so much lightness waiting for you. Eat something alive today. Something from the earth that had dirt on it not too long ago. Take that one step and see how you feel. Then take another. Drink water when you wake and get your system going naturally. Don’t drink coffee first thing… chew something first, a few almonds maybe and then have your morning cuppa (especially if you’re trying to shed pounds). And when you’ve got those down take another step. And another. Until one day you’ll look in the mirror and all those old stories of struggle are so far gone that you’re not even sure if they ever existed at all.

The truth is how you get there is up to what resonates with you. It could be food, meditation, time in nature or something else entirely. It doesn’t matter just follow the path that feels most light for you. No matter what keep going. You’re worth it. You matter. There is so much love here for you.

The book is The Anthology Love Poems from God and the poem is by St. Catherine of Siena.

Thank you, Heidi for sending this.

As I’m prepping to host Shift retreat this May I’ve been spending time in reflection on the events that set this all in motion and on the bravery that I know each participant will be summoning to do this profound work. If you feel called you can apply to join us here.

In November last year I felt a strong pull to up and go to Bali. I laugh now even as I type that because I know how crazy it sounds. It was a feeling inside that was supported by three solid validations (finding a book while cleaning out a closet, seeing an image on Instagram and winning tickets to Oprah that I didn’t register for). In 24 hours I booked a ticket. And it was done. I was excited. I was terrified. I was as ready as I could be. I had no idea how important the trip would become.

When Cliff dropped me off at the airport I was full to the brim with anxiety, uncertainty and fear. This was my first time to travel alone. All I knew was that for the next 30 days I was going to be with myself in a place I’d never been, doing things I’d never done. I cried as he dropped me off and we hugged and kissed goodbye. I cried as I checked in. I cried all the way through security (which did speed things up quite a bit). I finally pulled myself together at the gate. After I boarded, the flight attendant handed me a warm towel and I put my face into it and just sobbed.

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I show you this photo now not so you’ll feel sorry for me (I was on my way to Bali, after all) but so you’ll see the progression of change in my face throughout this trip. I knew I had to go. I wanted it and I feared it at the same time.

3 am

A few days into the trip I woke up at 3 am feeling like I was being called to. I laid in bed (and took a selfie, as one does) and listened. I felt peaceful but like something was definitely happening. Later that day I spoke with my sister and learned that was the exact moment she was doing and Angel Reading and meditating on me. When she sent me the reading I felt gratitude for every single word. So much of it resonated. So much of it was deeply affirming. I read it nearly everyday for the rest of my trip. It became my True North and a tether to the truth I was seeking.

The following is my reading. I ask that you hold it with the kind of tenderness that you would a newborn. It feels like opening up the pages of my most cherished journal despite the fact that these words are not from me. They were channeled through my sweet sister.

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Oh sister, your energy is palpable. I can feel you and the movement in your body. Todd is there with you, which is so interesting to me. I have not felt him in some time but he has shown up twice in your reading, once as guiding you in the recent past and now again as an overarching presence in this phase of life you’re in. He is greasing the wheel so-to-speak. He is witnessing your return to your inner child, and he is blessing your journey inward. Call on him. Speak to him. Ask him questions. He will give you direct answers. Trust the answers when you receive them. You are sensitive through the dream world and through messages from people. Expect answers this way and trust the signs as you read them.

This trip into yourself is going to be the undoing of you in some ways. That can sound scary, ominous, but it is pure, true freedom, I promise you. Lean into the unknown. Lean into the icky. Lean into the sense of discombobulation. You will not feel grounded for some time. This is purposeful. You are stripping yourself free of all your identities, of all the things that keep you locked in the stories that make it easier for you to remain in your dysfunction. There is a reason you live above the ground now. Did you realize that? They showed me that. Your RV. You don’t touch the ground. You are floating just above it. Ungrounded. You are unrooting in this identity that you are SO deeply entangled in so that you may reroot and reroute in another. That is when you will know the RV journey is complete, when you are completely detached from the roots that were. You will live on ground again, and the roots will be of health and vitality instead of fear and pain.

I know you already have plans to get still and to just be, but they are telling me this big time. Seriously. Even if you laid in your hotel room for 30 days and did nothing but rest and meditate and saw nothing of Bali. The trip is not about what you will see or what is physically there for you. It is literally the distance that you needed to create to run that far from the identity you’ve created with your energy. You needed to be halfway around the world from your creation. So Bali works. There is magic there, yes. And healing, yes. But only because you are there creating it.

Do you remember those dome shaped plastic things we played with as kids? You turn them inside out and set them out, and then they pop way into the air. I was shown that as a personal image in my own meditation today but it is being applied to you as well. You are being turned inside out like that toy and all your fears are going to be exposed, which is way uncomfortable. But it will pop back and there will be this huge energetic release. Don’t fight the process.

As for the cards, I draw 3-4 cards that tell you of your recent past, present and where you will be in the future if you follow the advice regarding the present. There is also a general guidance card which is the overarching theme for your reading and life right now.

Recent Past:

Knight of Earth – General meaning is that it is time to buckle down and get things done, to honor your commitments. A guardian angel is present.

Knight cards indicate a masculine presence. This can be either physical or spiritual but in your case I sense someone on both sides, meaning an actual person in your life and a spirit watching you. The knight of earth is a person who is loyal, dedicated, honorable and kind. They are a nature and animal lover who may be a vegetarian. Detail-oriented. Diligent. Thoughtful. Honorable. Kind.

You have been being watched over and cared for energetically by the male energies in your life lately. Cliff, Todd, and your own sense of masculine energy. These are the strong soft energies that have been holding you up to this point.

This card indicates renewed motivation, that if there was an energetic slump you are seeing your way through to the other side. It signifies increased abundance, business travel, and a guardian angel. The business travel was particularly poignant for me because I’m being shown how much this trip to Bali is about your business and what comes next for you. You’ve been telling the people in your life that this trip is about healing your trachea (and there will be some of that as a secondary effect) but the truth is that this is a business trip for you. There is much soul work to be done and an unwinding of you in relation to your profession. The piece about writing your next course is more important than the trachea healing. You will only heal by living your life from a place of authenticity and joy. Healing can’t be the goal. Does that make sense? Joy has to be the goal. Healing is a side effect. You don’t set out to heal. You set out to find peace. Healing just happens.

This card nods to the fact that you just came out of a very task-focused period…honoring promises and commitments, attending to details and being thorough. That very structured, very masculine energy will subside and you will find more flow in the feminine. The work was important and the busyness and progress got you to the now. But that part is over. Time to soften.

Earth cards are about the material world and show that you have been very materially focused in the recent past. Work, home, money, security, etc – these all fall under the earth suit.

Present:

Release – Archangel Azrael – General meaning of this card is the end of a phase or situation. Spiritual transformation. Time to move on.

Well no surprises here! This card is all about transformation and moving forward. “Inevitable positive changes.” This card signifies that it’s time to move on because this project or phase of your life is now complete. There’s no benefit in remaining in this situation. Instead shake off the old and welcome the new. You may have a sense of relief or there may be some sadness, but either way it’s time to leave that which you’ve outgrown.

Take your time in adjusting to these changes. There’s no need to rush ahead. Be kind to yourself during this period of transition and seek the support of family and friends.

Additional meanings of this card are facing your fears, relationship transitions and spiritual evolution.

Whoa, right?!

It’s interesting to me how much work stuff is coming through on this one. Perhaps that’s not news to you, but I’m getting really clear messaging about how tied up energetically you’ve been in your work and building your business. Completing the last social media consulting project is definitely being nodded to here, but there is a MUCH bigger shift being alluded to. I know you keep focusing on age 10 and healing with that part of your life for your throat, but there is a message here loud and clear sis that this work entanglement is playing its part in your health as well. Ironic too since you’re a health coach. There will be lots of self-discovery around that.

This journey of spiritual evolution is going to be about worth as well. You are really trying to assert your worth as a 10 year old and as a career person, and this spiritual journey is going to strip you down to seeing your intrinsic worth, even if it hurts a little in the process. Stubbornness will only hinder this journey, so it’s time to breathe into all the sticky areas that you’ve been holding out on exploring. Exploration is a word that keeps coming up again and again for you. This trip, this moment, this present creation in your life is about exploration, about exploring yourself with detached curiosity, about letting go of the parts of you that you’re stubbornly holding onto so as to preserve the big heavy story you get to carry around.

Archangel Azrael heals your heart when changes and losses bring about grieving. Call upon Azrael to help you move forward fearlessly and let go of the past. It’s going to be really really important to let go of the past. Stop telling the same stories. You’re keeping that alive by breathing life into the stories.

Future:

Ten of Water – A contented and rewarding family life. Your emotional and material needs are met. Trustworthy relationship.

This is a really beautiful, straight-forward card. Its message is clear and simple. Life is good. It speaks of harmony in your family and relationships and great feelings of love and blessings. Your needs (both emotional and material) are met, and you will be surrounded by peace, joy and unconditional love.

Additional meanings of this card are happy marriage, positive relationships with children, security and taking care of family members.

The thing that stands about this card for your reading is its simplicity. It’s so full of love and peace and joy, but the message requires little explanation. What is ahead for you? Simplicity.

The water suit is about the depths of emotions, intuition and psychic abilities. It’s quite interesting how your reading progresses from a heavy focus on the material world with the earth suit through a spiritual release and into the flowing peace of the emotional water suit. You are headed toward more connection with the things that matter. It’s interesting too that in the first two cards I heard lots and lots about your business and all the busyness, and now it’s just peace. They’re not even throwing you a bone about the linear about the structure of what comes next in this exploration of profession and worth and you. Just peace. It’s kind of frustrating and completely fucking perfect at the same time.

There is an interesting sense of quiet I’m getting about what’s coming next for you. Your voice literally being quieted for a while. A going within. Content. Peaceful. Still. This will be a change more for the people around you than you, as it will feel natural for you, a next logical step. They’re just telling me to honor this for you. To give yourself permission and be easy with yourself during this period of silence.

General Guidance:

The Wheel – Archangel Michael – A time of positive change. A situation suddenly moves forward. Fortune is on your side. “The wheel of fortune”

Sister, this card is epic. It’s big. In all the readings I’ve done in these last 2 years, I’ve never drawn this card. It’s that good. So here’s what the book says and then I’ll tell you what else they’re telling me. Remember this is the overarching theme of your reading and your energy at this point.

The angels sent you this card because of positive changes occurring in your life. Expect and enjoy beneficial new opportunities as they present themselves. This is an optimal time to make big and small changes. Take the leap with the knowledge that everything will work well for you.

Old blocks are lifting and everything now moves forward quickly. If recent events shook your faith, you’ll now see how they were positive for you. Rapid advancement is likely now.

Additional meanings of this card are good luck, a happy accident, balanced karma, a miracle, a twist of fate, destiny.

Archangel Michael is the supreme protecting angel who walks beside you through changes, giving you courage, strength and self-confidence. Call upon Michael whenever you’d like specific guidance about your next step, especially if it’s connected to your life purpose or spiritual path.

A word about Michael…. He is a healer of confidence and wants to make the path clear for YOU to do the work and make the steps forward. You won’t feel hand-held with him, but you’ll know you’re being guided.

The picture depicts Michael powerfully in the middle of a wheel of all the astrological signs and all four elements of earth, air, fire and water. Some kind of karma has dissolved and is transmuting for you currently. This means that cosmically you’re poised for big shifts, and the Universe is opening up for you. You’ll feel like you have more options because you’ll feel less constricted by those unknown forces that tug at your being. You’ll feel lighter, more open.

As a general theme for your reading, obviously this is really positive (and trust me, I’ve seen negative). The message I’m getting is for you to trust the bigger picture. They gave you this card and are showing you this message kind of as a sneak preview of what’s to come. There will be darkness. The work is never easy, but this is supposed to show you how aligned you are with the way right now. The wheel is turning and it would take far more effort for you to stop it than for it to just keep on trucking forward. Breathe into that and trust when the road gets bumpy that the wheel of fortune is humming right along.

Overall sister this is such a beautiful story, and I hope it gives you a sense of confidence and space. They are showing me how much this trip means to you personally and professionally even if you don’t altogether realize it. It’s not so much about your breathing. It’s about finding the childlike joy. It’s about finding your feminine. It’s about moving from earth to water. It’s about ripping up rotted roots so you can plant a sapling and love it up.

You are so divinely loved and there is a sense of falling away all around you. Like the leaves fall from the trees each autumn. Except it’s entire branches. They’re just falling off one by one, and you’re feeling the breeze. You’re finally seeing the view. You’re realizing you weren’t as constricted as you always felt. There is a great opening and a great softening. Flow with it. Don’t worry about agendas or reporting back what you accomplished or what you saw. This time is about pruning.

I love you so so much! Feel free to ask any questions and I’ll answer as best they guide me.

You have so many you can call on. Michael for guidance and to clear the way. Azrael for healing and release. Todd for laughs and encouragement. Call on them. You are absolutely positively not alone.

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spa day

Each time I read through the reading while I was in Bali I saw and felt something new. The feeling of being seen and supported still brings me to tears. “You are absolutely positively not alone” echoes in my heart all the time.

This photo was after an epic 5 hour long spa day. The day ended with a cream hair treatment and then the girl attempted to style my hair with a blow dry. Brush + blow dryer on curly hair is always a recipe for disaster but something in me just allowed it all to unfold and I have never been more infused with simple joy and laugher. I walked out of the spa looking like this and it was awesome. Healing was already well underway but I was too busy having fun to realize it.

meditation glow

Going back through the reading now I feel so proud that I listened, that I was soft and allowing. The reading said, “You are sensitive through the dream world and through messages from people.” I paid attention to both.

I met a girl, Lindsey, for dinner one night that I’d only previously known on the internet (she helped create my app!) and she invited me to go do a reading with her and to a meditation class. The meditation class felt like a good idea so I went. I was blown away at the power of the meditation. Blown away! I attended that mediation again and then a 1:1 session with the guy who leads it named Punnu and then a 2 day workshop with him. Paying attention to the signs and one simple YES led to so much goodness.

I saw the vision of what was to come next in my work so clearly in that meditation. The work piece of the reading was showing up. I knew this trip was about work. That wasn’t as surprising to me as it was to Kayla but I thought I was there to write a new course and I was learning at warp speed that it wasn’t exactly what I thought it was going to be. I saw people sitting in a circle smiling back at me. Some of the faces I knew immediately, some I didn’t know. It was a retreat not a written course that was waiting to be born. That part was surprising to me.

bananas

I came to know myself on a whole new level through this journey in Bali. I came to truly embrace the forward motion of my life instead of resisting and pushing so hard all the time. I used to live from a place of intense striving. It was well intentioned, I was doing the best I could but there was a big feeling of too-much-ness in my life and in my body. I felt internally frayed most of the time. I’d sit in my office and work for 8-10-12-14 hours a day, 6 days a week. Working. Striving. Pushing. I’d say to myself over and over “nothing is created in overwhelm” yet I’d sit there and plug away. I had no idea how to truly detach. Bali (and the spotty internet service) taught me how to release my expectations and the reading showed me it was possible to live in grace.

this is me

At some point on the trip I accepted the truths that life is not meant to be hard and I don’t have to continue to needlessly suffer based on the past and what I’m making up about the future. I learned how to live in the generous present and that gripping feeling of anxiety dissolved into the nothingness it came from.

different now

The reading said, “You are being turned inside out like that toy and all your fears are going to be exposed, which is way uncomfortable. But it will pop back and there will be this huge energetic release. Don’t fight the process.” The work I did through those days and nights in meditation, being dry as the desert unable to cry just sitting there in my anger and rage truly sucked. Then feeling and hearing the audible gasps and sobs of release left me feeling completely exposed. As exposed as I’d ever felt. It was work. I believe it was some of the most worthy work of my life. That I had the reassurance in words from Kayla’s reading felt like the promise that I would be able to bend and then break and that it was ok to lean hard into it and welcome the change. I was being broken open for my highest good, for my own healing and to release the into possibility of inexplicable joy.

refreshed by rain

It was in the last week and a half of the trip that I felt my internal system repairing. The frayed feeling was going and my strength was returning. I used to explain it to Cliff like this… I am like a rope and the end has been dipped in wax to keep it all together. In the morning I feel solid but as the day progresses by about 2 pm I feel the wax has worn and bits of rope have started to come undone. By 6 pm I’m just one frizzy, uncontainable mess. Then we have dinner. We sit, we chat. I begin to come back to center. Bedtime and sleep brings a fresh coating of wax and the day repeats itself again until I’m spent, weak, sad, suffering. Pretty clear image, right? It was an unnecessarily hard way to live!

I accepted that I really can create the life I want (and that one has been rippling out ever since). This photo was my last full day on Gili Air Island. I walked down the beach to snorkel and it poured rain. I snorkeled in the rain and then walked back to the place that was home base. I remember feeling an acute awareness that I was not worried about anything. I was at peace. I was happy. I was at home in myself, transformed by love and a willingness to see and live in the truth. Since that time it’s only gotten better.

Your story is waiting to be lived and the signs are everywhere. You don’t have to keep repeating the same days over and over (unless you want to). Are you ready? You’ll know when you hear the call. Answer it bravely and then enlist support in the form that speaks to you. For me it was time in a far away land, a reading and intentional, consistent meditation.

Thank you for receiving my story with love. I am sending you love on your journey.
May it just keep getting better!
Lacy

P.s. Join me for Shift here.
Stay tuned for future retreats here.
Have a reading with Kayla here.

My birthday was this past Saturday. I turned 36. THIRTY SIX! Beyond feeling really grown up it feels big in my body, like somehow this year is going to blow my mind in ways I can’t possibly imagine.

My birthday wish was to have a getaway weekend with Cliff, to sit in mud, soak in mineral pools and have the hot kind of sex that hotels and getaway weekends invite. We did just that and I was reminded how important it is to get away, out of the small space of our RV and our daily routine. It was renewal on all levels.

Lacy In Mud

As I moved through the mud bath process I was in meditation on what I want for this year. I’m sitting there in the hot squish of what smells reminiscent of our composting toilet with the faintest echo of orange essential oil that the lady sprayed to “help” with the smell and I’m asking myself…

What do I want 36 to look like?
Why is this mud so flipping hot?
What’s calling me?
What’s ready to be born?
Seriously, how much longer am I going to bake in here?
What’s begging to be let go of?
What do I want for my business?
What do I want for my relationships?

I zoomed in and zoomed out. I listened to all that came up in my body and mind. By the time the mud was rinsed off and I was on to the next phase sitting in a bubbling tub of mineral water I knew what I wanted. My hope in sharing all this is that you feel expansion in your life and clarity around what you want to create this year.

As you read through notice what comes up for you. There will be some things that really resonate and leave you with charged and excited feelings of OMG I WANT THAT and others will raise resistance in you. You may find that you have stories as to why you can’t do this or that or why something isn’t for you. Just observe and let it all wash over you. It’s all good information. I’m not saying that any of this stuff is also good for you… only you know the answer to that. If you want to take action in your own life you’ll know… you’ll feel inspired to move. And if you want to read along and say Happy Birthday that’s totally awesome too!

For my 36th year here’s what’s staying, changing and getting added into my life. And because I love a life filled with intentional affirmations I’ve given them all affirming titles. Feel free to grab some of them and post em up on your bathroom mirror or somewhere you’ll see them.

I HAVE A NOURISHING MORNING ROUTINE

For about the last year I’ve given myself the assignment to wake up and fall in love with my life in the most sincere way possible. How you create the day before you ever leave bed is SO POWERFUL. I do so in the moments just before I open my eyes. As soon as I start to wake up I stretch and roll around a bit in bed and then say nice things that usually go something like, “Good Morning Lacy! You’re wonderful and I LOVE YOU! Only right and good action is happening in your life.” Then I look at Cliff and tell him good morning and that he is wonderful! From there I get out of bed, pee, brush my teeth, put on a robe and go to the “front of the bus” (aka the living room) to meditate on how I want to feel that day. Some days it’s 10 minutes, some days it’s an hour. I prepare my morning elixir. I sit and sip quietly with Ned and Cliff or we begin buzzing about the RV and I grab my phone to look at what is planned in my day. I love this practice and I love coming back to it each day. One day soon it will feel like an effortless extension of how I live just like brushing my teeth and feeding Ned. I see more downtime, more stillness (my word this year) and less urgency to grab my phone and get right to it.

I EMBRACE MEDITATION

I’m adding meditation a second time each day. I was trying it at night, by laying in bed and listening to a guided meditation on You Tube on my phone but that meant that 1. the phone would end up spending the night in bed with us which feels SO WRONG and 2. I was having crazy vivid dreams all night and not the most restful sleep. So the plan now is to 1. leave the phone out of our bedroom at night with the ringer off and 2. try meditating in the evening. It’s a suggestion my little sister offered… “happy hour” meditation. I like the sound of that! So this week that’s the plan.

I LET GO OF ALL THAT IS NO LONGER SERVING ME

When I was sitting in the mud and then the water I asked that my intuition be undeniable and that my body not only speak clearly but reject any foods, beverages, practices and thoughts that are not serving me. I may regret this one in moments later but I felt pulled to it. I feel like the Universe was just waiting for me to say, Ok, now I’m ready. Last year I asked repeatedly for unknown expansion for my highest good and I got the unknown! Some of it was really, really hard and some of it was amazing. This ask feels big like that one. Complete rejection of all that is no longer serving me. I’m ready. Whew. Game on.

I ASK FOR WHAT I NEED WITH EASE

Last year was my year of coming into profound and unapologetic truth telling with myself and with others. That feels like a combination of experience and wisdom for me. It just feels so good and freeing. Part of that practice has been asking for what I need more and more. It’s something I’m still really working on and lately I am asking for re-do’s with Cliff and explaining what just happened in an effort to both tell the truth and ask for the support I need in the moment.

For example… last night we got home from our getaway with groceries for the week and my immediate response was dread. I didn’t want to do the work of cleaning out the fridge to put away the new groceries which would inevitably lead to me washing dishes and cleaning up the house and doing a list of chores that I felt needed to be done. Instead of asking for help or voicing my feelings I reflexed into making a deep audible sigh and then paused before I started digging into the grocery bags. Cliff got himself something to drink and I looked at him and said, “ask me if I want something, please.” It was so snide and underhanded and he saw right through me. It was in that moment that I also saw right through me. His response was — “woah, what just happened there?” I was able to voice everything I was feeling and we sorted through it really quickly. We put the groceries away together and left the dishes. No drama. Next time I’ll try to remember to share my feelings before I get all huffy. See what I mean? Work in progress.

I AM COMPLETE IN EACH MOMENT

I’ve been giving myself permission to be complete in each task, in each moment. That translates to no more multi-tasking with one exception. The only time I multi-task now is on Facetime with my sister. I wash dishes and we chat. It’s the best and I’m keeping it.

As we were making our way from Texas to California earlier this month in the RV I made the decision to delete Facebook, Twitter and E-mail from my phone in support of my goal to be complete in each task. HOLY CRAP I’ve never felt more organized, complete and less anxiety around all things social! It was hard to hit the X to make them go away and then hard to break the reflex of wanting to make the rounds on my phone to check in… I kept thinking OMG am I going to missing something? Be less connected? And then I realized that being less connected is a really good thing, it means I can be connected more meaningfully. Since that time I’ve had phone dates with girl friends and more intentional connections on social media. It’s crazy liberating. Now I sit down at my computer, process email and make the rounds and I’m done. No more reading emails from my phone that never get answered. No more interruption in my thoughts.

I EAT SIMPLY

I swore that I wasn’t going to change the way I eat everyday around the holidays but I did. I blame Torchy’s Tacos in Austin (I’m mostly kidding, that place is amazing! It’s a MUST experience when you’re in Texas). I ate way too much cheese and sugar and I’ve felt the impact. I’m coming home to simple eating and the practices that feel best in my body. Water upon waking. Breakfast just after morning meditations. Lunch between 12 and 2 and my biggest meal of the day. Dinner before 6. No eating after dark and making sure that there’s 10 hours between my last meal and breakfast. Herbal tea throughout the day as I want it. My all time favorite is peppermint and lately I’m cycling through ginger and a blend I bought in Bali for my Ayurvedic dosha (I’m a vata) with fennel, galangal, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, cumin, clove and anise. It’s so good and I feel like I’m doing something good for my body so it’s a win/win.

I LIVE SIMPLY

I’m continuing to embrace living simply. Moving into an RV was a gift. My connection to stuff will never be the same. Cliff said it best in his birthday card to me, “Our needs are fewer and our love is deeper.” It’s true. Stripping down has woken us up to our lives and desires. It’s been an unearthing, a re-birth and a monumental shift and I can’t wait to see what else unfolds for us as a couple and individuals as a result of these really big changes.

I WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO SEE THEIR WORTH

This year I’m calling for women + men who are ready to do the work. I learned the hard way last year… There are times that I meet someone and my heart explodes into this big gooey empathetic vat of I CAN HELP HER/HIM and my desire is so big it’s almost big enough for both of us. But the truth is that never works. My desire will never be big enough for the both of us. You have to want it. And you have to be ready. This year I’m stepping out of my own way when it comes to my business and my clients. I’m not in the business of convincing anyone to do anything and this isn’t a Lacy Funded Charity.

Side bar :: My friend Tim gave it to me straight about being in business for yourself… for myself. At the time it felt like tough love and looking back these years later I see his advice as a gift. It’s been a solid measure for my work over the years as I ask myself… am I making any money at this or am I involved in a really high energy output charity of my own making? If the answer is ever, “Yeap… charity.” Then I circle the wagons and recalibrate. His words went something like…. There’s a time of building. That’s not what I’m talking about. You’ll raise your prices and lower them and raise them again until you find the sweet spot for your work but always keep in mind that even though you feel so strongly and your heart is so big, this is NOT A LACY FUNDED CHARITY. That doesn’t feed you or pay your bills. It’s not a good energy exchange and it’s not good business. Ouch. Ok. Noted. Got it.

If you’re reading this now and you’re feeling goose bumps (aka truth bumps) of I KNOW MY WORTH, I’M READY. Message me. I have currently have two spots open for 1:1 clients and there is space in Togetherness Tuesday Drop In Health Coaching. Join me. Join us. Let me love you deeply and support you in pursuit of your goals. You are worth it.

When I got the call to do Shift Retreat this year it was undeniable. I knew I HAD to do it, it is a calling and I answered with a resounding YES. It took bravery to push the button and put it out there for all of you to consider and it is taking trust that you will also answer the call with a YES. I can already see some of your faces (and I’ve told most of you as much. Some of you I’ve waited/ am waiting to see if you will message me because why the heck not. Let’s have some fun and test out the ole Universe).

If you are meant to be there you will know. It is all happening May 16 – 23, 2015 in Costa Rica. The journey begins the moment you feel the call. That we are traveling to Costa Rica is pure intention. I know that you will have to move some mountains in your life to set aside the time and the money to be a part of Shift (see the worth thing showing up again?! So good, right!). You can read all about the retreat over at LacyYoungRetreats.com and if you’d like information on future retreats you can join the list here.

I USE THE INTERNET FOR GOOD

This year I want to use the internet to raise my vibes and yours. From simple feel good stuff to legit learning. Here are my latest favorites:

Watch this one when you can really laugh and sing along.
Listen. On repeat.
Pick two of these and start doing them today.

I MAKE A GREAT LIVING AND HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY IN THE BANK

As a part of my own worthiness work I am giving myself permission to make more than I’ve ever made and save more than I’ve ever saved this year. My goal is to save 20% of everything I make this year and I will be learning how to invest my money for the first time in my life. No more handing my money to someone else and saying here you figure this out. It’s time and I’m ready.

To growing older, learning more with each passing day and continuing to listen to the desires of your heart.

I love you with every one of my 36 years.
Lacy

THIS drink is so good.

I’ve been making spiced hot chocolate for myself every morning for the last few weeks and it occurred to me that YOU would love it too. This is one of those recipes I usually do a little of this and a little of that. You can vary the spice amounts based on your taste. This is nourishing on so many levels. Each ingredient is so powerful. Ghee lubricates and strengthens from within. The raw cacao is a tremendous source of magnesium. This one is an elixir for your soul. I can’t wait to hear how much you love it!

Spiced Hot Chocolate

*Gluten-free and delicious!

Ingredients

• 1 cup nut milk
• 2 tablespoons raw cacao powder
• 3 teaspoons cinnamon
• 2 teaspoons ghee
• 1 teaspoon cardamom
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• pinch of clove

Directions

Combine spices, nut milk and ghee in sauce pan and warm on the stove. Once warmed remove from heat and stir in honey or maple syrup.

purple divider

Our Home is... Kale On Wheels!

It’s bananas to sell everything you own and move into an RV, right? Yeap. Completely bananas. But you know what… WE LOVE bananas! In May of 2014 we sold/ gave away most of our stuff, purchased a 1994 Safari Continental. As we started to renovate we found mold which ended up being a tremendous gift. We gutted her and made her into what truly feels like home. It has been and continues to be a BIG adventure and I’m convinced that adventure really means advanced troubleshooting!

I’m so excited to share our home! I’ve linked most of the stuff for ya just in case you see something that inspires. There are a couple of affiliate links that relate directly to my work as a health coach. The rest are not affiliates, just sharing the love.

Timeline:
- Bought her in May.
- Renovated at warp speed (seriously it was madness) in June.
- Moved in July 1.
Kale On Wheels RV | Just Moved In
This was the first time she was clean and put together. Felt sooo good!

- Got used to her in August and continued working on aesthetics. Lots of bumping into each other and hitting our heads on cabinets. Depending on the day it was completely hilarious or frustrating.
- Spent September on the road driving from Texas to California and back.
- October/ November. Parked her again for more renovations and for me to go to Bali for a month on soul journey! You can see it over here.

Kale On Wheels | On The Road

That giant hole used to hold the backup camera. On our first trip we hit a bump and it came flying out! We’ve since removed that TV box. It’s just an open hole at the moment but we plan to either 1. get a new smaller back up camera to mount there or 2. make it into a cabinet to match the other two.

You can see what she looked like before here.
And during the reno here.

Welcome to our home!

Kale On Wheels | Welcome

It took Ned a little over three months to get used to his new life in our mobile abode. He was an indoor/ outdoor cat before so it’s been a little tough on his waist line and spirit to be indoors most of the time. We let him out anytime he wants to go. It’s usually once we’ve stopped somewhere for a few days and when the nights are nice and quiet.

Kale On Wheels | Entry Air Plant

We love having plants in our home and air plants seem to be the way to go in an RV. We’ve lost a few but about 75% of them are hanging in there! My mom sewed these and the living room curtains for us from linen fabric that was gifted to us by my friend Jamie House who is an incredible interior designer and was my sanity saver on this project.

Kale On Wheels | Dining

This is what it looks like when we are stopped. When we are in motion we take everything off the surfaces and put them into three 12×12 collapsible storage bins that then sit at the base of the bed on the floor. We had the bookshelf custom built for the space and there’s a leading edge on each shelf that helps to keep everything in it’s place.

We started with older orphan garage sale chairs (you can see them in the photo of when we first settled in above) in the dining room that I spray painted white. They were cute but not comfy. We upgraded to these Ikea chairs and they’ve been great! We’ve tried to hold our belongings to the rule that it must be beautiful or practical or both (and that feels so good).

We didn’t want to bolt down any of our furniture so we made sure the items that were in spaces that could move or fall while in motion would stay put. The kitchen table is wrought iron that I spray painted a soft yellow and we added a table top from Home Depot. That baby doesn’t move an inch and it’s become the center of our home. We sit here to work, to eat, to chat. I love this space.

KITCHEN

Kale On Wheels | Kitchen

I love our kitchen. LOVE IT. I love the butcher block counter tops, the sink mounted under the counter, the subway tile, the color (that was Jamie!), the hardware. I love everything about this space.

We crafted this space to suit our needs. We removed a giant and dated looking microwave and replaced it with a toaster oven. We brought our juicer AND our blender which are my favorite two kitchen appliances of all time.

My only regret in our renovation process is that we rushed the paint (you can see where it’s worn above the top two drawers). We only had one day to get it painted before we took it to get the cabinets reinstalled after having the molded damage bits removed and rebuilt. One day we’ll touch up but for now we’re much too busy living here.

The entire RV is 4 colors from Sherwin Williams.

Walls and ceiling are Greek Villa (SW7551)
The lower kitchen cabinets are Really Teal (SW6489)
The bedroom is Gateway Gray (SW7644)
The bathroom is Quietude (SW 6212)

Kale On Wheels | Kitchen Plants

Kale On Wheels | Smoothie Cabinet

What we lack in wall space we make up for in cabinets! When I was first decorating and deciding what would go where it dawned on me that I could decorate INSIDE the cabinets. Hello! Happiness! This is our smoothie station. We use it almost everyday. The print is a free download on my site! And loads of smoothie recipes.

Kale On Wheels | Kitchen Cabinet

We downsized our kitchen BIG time and at the end of the year I plan to comb through and downsize a bit more getting rid of stuff we’ve not used since moving in. We have 4 plates, 2 glasses and several bowls. We kept too many pots and pans considering we have only 2 burners but I adore our cookware so we made space for it.

Kale On Wheels | Tea Station

This was my first space to set up and decorate. We have morning tea everyday and I often drink tea through the day. The teapot is from Target. The peas + carrots print is from Buck and Libby.

LIVING ROOM

Kale On Wheels | Living Room

Can you tell that’s Ned’s favorite spot in the living room! We added the divider curtains once we got out on the road. One day we’ll purchase actual window screens for the front windows (they’re pricey). For now we’ve improvised in a really beautiful way by installing a track from Ikea and hanging two cotton shower curtains from West Elm, the Pintuck shower curtain. We have the same curtains in our bedroom. The black and white rug is from Anthropologie.

The floor is cork called Barcelos (and it sounds best if you say it with an Antonio Banderas accent) from Lumber Liquidators. And we ADORE it.

Kale On Wheels | Storage

I keep my shoes in the baskets under the couch. Cliff keeps his in the cabinets over the bookcase. We have been a no shoes in the house family for the last few years so it makes a lot of sense to keep them at the front of the bus near the door.

The couch is a futon and we’ve had exactly one overnight guest so far, my sister. She confirmed what we all suspected… most uncomfortable nights sleep ever. On the plus side it fits the space, fit into the door with no problem and was the right price. Downside it’s sort of this weird felt fabric that holds onto Ned’s fur for dear life and is not comfortable. We’ll upgrade at some point but for now it’s working just fine.

ned pouf

The Moroccan pouf came from my friends store in Belmont, MA called Marmalade. The squirrel pillow came from Target. The chair was a Home Goods find. The rug was a hand me down from my mom.

Kale On Wheels | Joshua Tree

We were in Joshua Tree in our house and it was by far the most magical experience to date in the RV. It’s wild driving your home everywhere with you. WILD. This maiden voyage west and the way I felt… I’ll remember it forever. I remember the way I felt when Ned chose me to be his mom, I remember the way I felt watching the sun set over the Grand Canyon with Cliff when we moved from California to Texas and I remember the way I felt driving through Joshua Tree in our home.

HALLWAY

Kale On Wheels | Hallway View

You get a little peek of hardware in this image. Since the entire place is lined in cabinetry, I tried to help differentiate rooms by choosing different knobs or handles for each room.

Kale On Wheels | Hall View Into Bedroom

We used my favorite blanket to create a divider curtain for the bedroom. It helps to keep the morning light from blazing in and also helps regulate the temperature. We used the same track system from Ikea as at the front.

BEDROOM

Kale On Wheels RV | Reclaimed Wood Wall

The bedroom! Oh the bedroom. When we went to purchase the RV the bedroom was a sad, sad place. Old window boxes, stale energy and the bed was what they call an RV queen which is really code for too small to sleep on. We knew if this place was going to feel like home we’d have to be able to fit our Cal King mattress in the room! Getting it in the door was pretty hilarious. Picture the mattress folded like a taco with Cliff inside pulling and me and mom outside pushing.

We ripped out side cabinets to make room for the mattress which obviously eliminated some storage space but it was totally worth it. Cliff made a bigger bed platform and we covered the base in the same bead board that we used for the ceiling throughout the RV. You can see we still need to paint it white… soon. The massive diesel engine is actually under the bed and the platform that the mattress sits on is on hinges to allow access.

Kale On Wheels RV | Bedroom

Jamie found this amazing reclaimed wood for us! She hand picked every piece! Cliff cut and pieced it together to create a headboard. It’s both glued and tacked into place with little finishing nails. It’s stunning, so warm and beautiful. It’s our favorite project in the RV so far.

Kale On Wheels RV | Bed

This gives you an idea of space in the room. Cliff can easily walk along side the bed to get in but since my side is near the wardrobe it’s a tight squeeze so I get in and out of bed via the foot of the bed.

Kale On Wheels | Nitghtly Wind Down

You can see we’re all comfy here. <3

Kale On Wheels | Morning Ritual

Clothes… we downsized our wardrobes BIG time to move into the RV and have downsized even further by adopting the capsule wardrobe lifestyle.

Kale On Wheels | Bedroom Curtain and Art Wall

I believe your home is a snap shot of who you are. That meant we HAD to have an art wall somewhere. This is literally the only wall that is open floor to ceiling and you can see I took FULL advantage! The little cat is from Whismy Kitten on Etsy is Ned’s favorite thing. He uses it as a pillow (no idea how he learned to do that but it’s adorable).

Kale On Wheels | Bedroom Hardware

We used conduit pipe for the bedroom curtain rods and since the curtains are actually shower curtains I used leather cord to tie them to the rod. The hook with our robes is from Anthropologie. I had it in my studio holding oodles of ribbons in our house before and I love having it on our bedroom now.

DESK

Kale On Wheels RV | Desk

That little black unassuming fan has been a lifesaver! We will eventually get one more for the bedroom and two for the front of the bus. The top cabinet pulls are from Anthro. We made the leather pulls on the desk intentionally to have something soft since it’s so easy to bump against everything living in such a small space. It’s a bit like child proofing to make sure we can bounce off the surfaces without injury. The calendar and pockets are from Pottery Barn and the idea came direct from one of my besties who has a similar set up in her kitchen.

BATHROOM

Kale On Wheels | Bathroom

The bathroom got thoughtfully spruced. We have a full makeover planned. The sink is a find from ReStore. It’s a hair washing sink, a nod to my dad who has been a barber since he was in the Navy. He was on laundry duty and they asked if anyone knew how to cut hair… he said yes (total lie to get out of laundry detail) and has been a barber ever since! Mom sewed a skirt for the sink and our collapsible laundry hamper lives underneath.

Kale On Wheels | Bathroom Light

The composing toilet was a big win though it took us a little trial and error to figure out the proper proportions of coconut coir. These days we’ve got it dialed and have a home completely free of any unwelcome odors. The shower curtain rod is a double curved rod from Lowe’s. We use the extra rod for hanging wet towels and clothes. Shower curtain is from Target.

Kale On Wheels | Bathroom Floor

The floor is pebbles that give a mini foot massage every time you walk on them. The tub used to be trimmed in this weird, peeling gold foil stuff. We weren’t sure if there was anything that could be done but the man who helped us renovate her in record time surprised us by covering it with wood! Completely awesome.

Getting this old gal in shape had been a true team effort and we’ve felt tremendously loved and supported along the way. I love that our home has been a collaboration of so many hearts with time and talent.

Huge. Massive. Grand. Big, big, big thanks to Jamie House Design for helping us at every turn. When I was maxed out and could not make a decision she was always there. Thank you sweet Jamie for your time, your love and holding the vision of this project from the beginning. I love you.

Thank you to Johnny Loftis who worked diligently, quickly and honestly. We appreciate you! To mom for scraping, peeling, sewing, sweating, pushing, pulling, lifting, adjusting, hammer and nailing! To dad for knowing which power tools to bring, how to use them and for teaching me what a miter box is! To Aunt Mary for expert painting and tile demolition, Cody for serious man power in the demolition category, Mema for the best cork shelf liner install I’ve ever seen. Thank you all so much for your support with and through this huge transition.

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I just returned home from a month long journey to Bali. Over the past few days I’ve been noticing how different I am. I know that people go on trips all the time and come home saying they’ve changed but… I really mean it. I am SO different than I was a little over a month ago.

I have seemingly unlimited patience. My impatience used to be a running joke around here. Today I went to the post office to mail Kale Yeah T’s (they are on sale 40% off btw, get em while they last). There was a HUGE line. Then killer traffic on the way home from the post office. It was mid way through the traffic that I realized that I wasn’t bothered by any of it. Not the traffic, not the line, not the screaming kids, not the lady with the literal wagon full of boxes… I am so non-reactive. I am in awe. My stomach used to turn into knots in situations that were out of my control. I’d get anxious in lines, frustrated in traffic and now… Poof! GONE!

I’m quiet, contemplative and unapoligetically internal. I’ve been leaving my phone off most days unless I have a client call. I’m hardly on social media. Cliff and I are sitting and talking for hours on end. I feel space inside of me and around me. I feel peaceful. I’m observing my body adjusting back into this time zone and giving myself plenty of time to rest, to sleep when I feel like it and be awake when I feel like it. It’s actually nearly 3 am as I’m writing this. Two words friends… Jet Lag! It’s real.

I feel deeply loved and protected despite learning that when our home, our RV went in for service it was stripped of every electronic gadget and gizmo in the place. The TV was ripped off the wall, iPods gone, Jambox gone, brand new Roku still in the box (that was buried in a drawer) gone… and so much more. I am observing my reaction to it and how different I am in processing it all. I spoke with a representative of the shop and his only response was that Cliff signed a “not responsible for loss” waiver when he dropped it off. Wha? That doesn’t mean it’s ok to shop in our home. How can someone run a business that way?

In times past I would have gotten in my car and driven down there to speak yell at the owner or manager and demand resolution. The anger would have eaten me up from the inside out. Instead I saged our sweet little home and reminded myself that I am safe. I am loved. Somehow this is all for me. And I sent love to whoever took all our stuff. And to the guy who was zero help on the phone. And to the owner who has refused to take or return my calls. I will still be writing a Yelp review and filing an official complaint but with the intention of protecting other RV families instead of sticking it to this place.

Beyond that I’m reflecting on this feeling inside. This raw vulnerability of having our home violated in this way. Memories are flooding in from my life. Memories of times when people have wronged me and when I have wronged others. I’m seeing their faces, offering forgiveness and asking for forgiveness and it’s painful. And cleansing.

See what I mean? Different!

As 2014 draws to a close I feel brand new. I feel ready for the coming year and I feel excited for what is ahead. In 2015 I’m expanding my work to honor the knowing inside that has been clearly speaking saying, “Lacy, it’s time to offer more. It’s time to share what you know, to let people in, to hold them close and love them deeply so that you may grow together, open and heal together. It’s time.”

And so… I am thrilled to announce LacyYoungRetreats.com. The first retreat is going to be May 16 – 23, 2015 in Costa Rica. I’m calling it Shift and it’s already being infused with so much love and careful attention to every detail.

Join me on a profound healing journey like nothing you have ever experienced.
Join me for the transformation you have been waiting for.
Join me for a journey into your true self.

If this is the right fit for you, you will you know. You’ll feel it in your body. You’ll feel it before you finish reading this page. And you’ll bravely answer the call with YES. I will do this. I will trust this. YES.

The cure for anything is salt water — sweat, tears, or the sea. – Isak Dinesen

This is for you if:

  • You want to better understand and experience higher states of consciousness.
  • You’ve felt blocked or stuck for some time and you’re ready to unclog those blocks
  • You want to understand how the universe works and what your purpose is in life.
  • You have an open heart and are willing to change. <—– You can do anything if you answer YES to this one!
  • You’re building a new business or you’re ready for your current business to grow.
  • If this is resonating with you on a level you can’t quite explain.

This is also for you if:

  • You want to feel peaceful in your life. And joy. Heaps of joy.
  • You are ready to heal your body of physical and emotional pain.
  • You are feeling called to let go of unhealthy habits or addictive behaviors that are no longer serving you (ie. emotional or disordered eating, alcohol or cigarettes)
  • You are ready to heal past relationships and find a partner to share this life with.
  • You are looking for change in your career, in your relationship(s) and in your body.
  • You would like to feel empowered and hopeful.

This is not for you if:

  • You are not willing to invest your time and money in yourself.
  • You are not willing to explore new ways of thinking.
  • You would prefer to not share your experiences with other people or to listen to theirs.
  • You do not believe healing can happen in a matter of days.

What led me to this work?

To truly and fully heal you MUST be willing to feel and feel deeply, truthfully and consistently. Big shifts will happen if you trust that and practice it.

The past decade I’ve been on an intentional healing journey. Most recently I traveled to Bali because something unexplainable inside told me I needed to go. I’ve felt that call less than a dozen times my entire life and each time was nothing short of life changing. Bali was no exception. I have been meditating for years but what I learned and experienced in Bali created indelible changes in my body.

I watched in awe throughout the month-long trip as monumental internal shifts happened one after another. The space in my heart and belly where overwhelm and anxiety used to live cleared. My inability to truly cry was set free by meditations that invited movement of all that stuck energy. I will remember how it felt to release deep sobs and layers of profound grief for a long, long time to come. The feeling of being internally frayed all the time mended and was replaced with calm, even energy. And perhaps most notably, compassion has flooded the spaces in my body where anger used to rage. I was angry about everything from my parents divorce to feeling unheard as a child. You name it, I had anger about it. All that old reactivity is gone. All that pain has dissolved as a result of meditating.

I’ve never felt more free, light, alive, open and ready to share. Leading these retreats is an extension of doing the work I was meant to do in this life. It is my great hope that attending this retreat will be a rebirth for you, an opportunity to step into your power and become what you truly are. Together may we make the world a better place by helping those we love and each other to continue making empowering choices that raise the energy of all beings everywhere.

What exactly will we be doing?


“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estés

We will meet daily as a group for 7 days to meditate, talk, explore, write, rest, eat, relax, play, laugh, cry, heal and grow.

You’ll learn practical techniques and meditations to go deep within and to invite shifts so that you may know the truth of who you are. You will take mindful steps to invite healing and freedom from needless suffering. When you open up to this journey, you’ll learn how to listen to and connect with your intuition in ways that you’ve never experienced before. You’ll release old hurts both known and unknown. You’ll find joy. Serious, peaceful joy. You’ll feel the lightness that comes from eating life-giving foods. You’ll redefine self care. You’ll connect with other people who are on the path. You’ll feel tremendously loved and pampered by every detail.
This is a course for individuals, an inward journey, but you are welcome to bring your partner if you’d like to experience this work side-by-side. You’ll leave with the tools you need to continue your work at home.

This is a non-denominational retreat. Our work will transcend religious and cultural barriers. It is ok if you’ve never meditated before and it’s ok if you have an established meditation practice. The only prerequisites are your desire and willingness to change. You can expect a loving and safe environment.

Our work together will be consistent, constructive and mutually nourishing.

Investment:

The cost of the retreat covers our work together; 3 deliciously, consciously prepared organic vegetarian meals daily; transportation to and from the Liberia International Airport; your room and select activities. Choose from 3 different rooms with prices ranging from $2,880 to $3,730 for the week.

Option 1: Nature Suite

Nature Suites are located on a hillside overlooking the lush vegetation. They are natural wood frame structures and have private bathrooms with an outdoor shower overlooking the jungle. Each Suite sleeps two people and includes a separate enclosed porch with a desk. All Suites have solar hot water as well as air conditioning. The Suites are a short walk up the hill to the Main Building.

Single Room: $3,730
Shared Room: $3,305

Option 2: Hermitage

Many of these rooms have partial views of the ocean and others of the mountains nearby, a queen-sized bed, a private bathroom with solar hot water and a natural ventilation system. There are also a few Hermitage Rooms available with twin beds for two people.

Single Room: $3,330
Shared Room: $3,800

Option 3: Eco-Cottage

The cottages are beautifully situated in lush vegetation. They are natural wood frame structures with screening for natural ventilation. Each Cottage sleeps two people and has a private bathroom with solar hot water showers and everything runs on solar powered electricity to provide a comfortable and ecological setting. The Eco-Cottages are situated below the Main Building and involve a short hike up a stone stairway to get to the Main Building.

Single Room: $3,130
Shared Room: $2,880

Space is limited. If you have questions, contact me directly here.

Every wise culture knows that there are times that are important to walk out in the desert or in the mountains, or to go on retreat and listen.” -Jack Kornfield

What clients are saying:

“Thank you so much for your love and being there for me. You will never know just how much it means to me. I believe whole-heartedly that you were sent to me to help me work through my issues. You have such a gentle way of nudging me to get to the root of issues that I deal with and of helping me put things in perspective. I would never have dreamed that a business coach would be so much more that strictly business planning. You have changed my life and continue to help me move towards being a healthier person. No other business coach would do that. You are so much more and I was meant to connect with you. You truly make my heart smile and help me feel complete. And it has been a long time since I have felt like that. Thank you!” – Tania

“I was looking for a spiritual teacher. It wasn’t that I was broke or deeply unhappy or desperate in any way; I just had a sense that there was more to this life, and I wanted to go deeper. In my mind, I pictured this guide as an Indian man with a turban. Boy, was I surprised when I realized that it was actually Lacy from Texas. I told her things I’ve never told anyone, and I felt so safe, so HELD, so SEEN. I felt loved, welcomed, and at home with Lacy in a way I’ve never felt with anyone. And she told me the truth. She told me the TRUTH. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes after our conversations, I had to sit with that truth for hours before it rested onto my bones and – every time – healed them. I’ve never met anyone like Lacy. I truly have no words. She embodies everything she teaches. It’s healing just to be in her presence. Everyone needs this work. Everyone.” – Lindsey

Together we will share seven days of meditation, healing, and the unearthing of deep, inexplicable joy in Costa Rica.

Apply here.
Or get in touchhere with questions.
See the retreat page here.

I came to Bali because I felt powerfully and unexplainably drawn here. In the three weeks I’ve been here so far everything has changed, shifted, lightened. It feels like my whole life has been a series of events leading me to this experience. Deep meditation lead to healing work. I cried. A lot. A first in as long as I can remember. I called out from the depths of grief. I opened up my body and as a result I’ve never felt more free. More light. More alive. More open.

Bali reminded me how important atmosphere is for me. The combination of natural beauty and daily offerings have helped bolster calm inside of me to allow for all the good work to happen. I needed to be so far away. I needed to wander the winding streets, sweat bucket loads, eat fruit, feel the buzz of the city and then sit near the ocean. I needed to be in a place of uncertainty. I needed every bit of it.

The big question marks that characterized my first few days in Bali have been replaced with a deep peace and calm. I read back in my journal and notice how confused I was… and now I just feel compassion for her and all the striving energy.

There have been monumental internal shifts. I used to have an apartment in my heart and my belly for overwhelm and anxiety. They’ve gone now and a tremendous weight has lifted. I used to worry about my trachea and now I truly feel that I can heal myself. I’ve believed that for a long time but now I FEEL the truth of it.

I know now that to truly and fully heal you MUST be willing to feel and feel deeply, truthfully and consistently. Big shifts will happen if you trust that and practice it.

punnu and lacybali2ganesha and friendsbali1

I’m seeing clearly that it’s time to share all I’ve learned in Bali and the decade leading up to it. It’s time to go deeper. It is going to be completely different from anything I’ve done before. The truth is that I love food and what it can do for us but the part of coaching that I am deeply moved by are those moments when we move beyond food and into what’s at the core. This is going to be all core.

It’s life coaching but not really.
It’s health coaching but not really.
It’s business coaching but not really.

I’m inviting you to join me on a profound healing journey like nothing you’ve ever experienced. It will be powerful and unexplainable just like this trip for me. More information will be coming soon. Stay tuned!

With tremendous love,
Lacy

p.s. If you’ve not yet subscribed to my blog posts you can do so here so that you don’t miss a thing!

That moment when your sister Face Times and you look the same down to the side bun. WOAH.

My sister and I talk daily. It’s one of my favorite rituals. We gush over our capsule wardrobe favorites and talk about Chloe but mostly we go into the core of what’s happening in our lives. We leap into the deep stuff, the work, the truths that we’re learning and the intentions that we’re setting.

Lately, we have been having conversations on being seen. How we all really, really want to be seen. What that means. Who gets to see you. Who truly knows you. How to let people know you without feeling like you’re always sharing all your business. And on and on. As we were about to get off the phone she said something that I’ve been rolling around inside ever since… “Lace, it’s time to give people more access to you.” It was her voice but I felt like I was hearing from the angels. She is SO connected to her intuition and the divine.

To be seen and truly show who you are you have to know yourself or at least be in pursuit of knowing yourself. Seems pretty straight forward but oh so many women (and men) have forgotten who they truly are. At the heart of truth we are joy. Joy is our birthright. Sometimes in the chaos and noise of life we forget that. We reflex into weird striving energy trying to be something we’re not. I forget that. I reflex. But I knew exactly what she meant and it hit me as an all caps Y-E-S in my body. Time to get real.

The next day I tried it in the most logical place. I had a call with a potential client and I was totally me. I  was professional but playful. Knowledgeable but not judgey. I giggled. I asked her to be my friend (umm I don’t always do that). I was totally serious. Talking with her was an all caps Y-E-S in my body. I felt our connection immediately and I knew two things… 1. I can help her and 2. I want to. She’s now a client our energy together is still amazing. I feel so lifted after we get off the phone. She does too. I’d call it magic but I know it’s a result of living in my truth. It’s a result of listening to the Y-E-S and honoring it.

There are dear girls in my Togetherness Tuesday weekly drop-in coaching group that know me. Anyone I’ve been coaching for more than a phone call knows me but you guys… do you know me? If you didn’t before you will now. Ha! I’ve been set free with permission from my sis and I’m kind of on fire about it.

When I started my business (started seeing clients in 2009, graduated in 2010) I had all this striving energy and worried about doing it right. I said yes to everyone who wanted to work with me. I learned a lot the hard way. I used the worksheets that school gave me and followed the programs to the letter. Each year I got a bit more confidence and moved more into my own style. Less worksheets. Less by the book. More intuition. These days I know what I’m doing. I know how to let my intuition lead and I’m ok with sounding completely woo woo in the process. I apologize for it less and less (always a good sign). And you know it’s totally working….being me has helped more people be themselves and HEAL themselves. I have seen people heal their bodies of everything from candida to cancer.

There’s change unfolding as I type. I’m stepping into my ME-ness and every part of my 35 year old self feels the buzz of that energy. I’m owning my gifts and my personal power. Elizabeth Gilbert said that she used to look people in the eyes and give them the answer they wanted to hear instead of the answer that was in her heart. Hearing her say that gutted me. I did that too! I mastered that skill as a young child and it served my well into adulthood. No more. It’s all about speaking truth now. And you know, it’s not nearly as dramatic as that sounds. It’s actually the most subtle shift and you’d probably never notice if I hadn’t said anything. But maybe you would… we all feel each others energy all the time and the energy of truth or falsehood is weighty stuff.

May I give you some permission here?
- Follow Liz Gilbert’s advice and look inside before you answer folks.
- Don’t do anything unless it’s an all caps Y-E-S in your body.
- Be who you are. Everyone says that all the time but I’m telling you when you wring out every ounce of you-ness you will heal yourself and others.
- Get serious about who you are. No more shrinking. Own your brilliance! Claim your genius! It feels so GOOD!

And I’d like to give you an invitation too…
- If you’re not signed up for One Pot Wonders yet please do consider joining us! It’s quickly becoming this fabulous little truth portal for sharing my passion and love. Oh you’ll get some pretty amazing soup recipes too.
- If you could use a little encouragement Kayla (my sis) is doing Angel Readings. It’s totally woo woo and it’s amazing.

And if you need a little fuel while you ponder all of this here’s my latest green juice combo.

morning green juice

Juice this up and enjoy!

1 bunch kale
3 stalks celery
1 piece fennel
1 piece ginger
2 cucumbers
1/2 bunch cilantro
1 apple
1 lemon

Serves 2

With love,
Lacy

p.s. Never miss a post by following my blog on Bloglovin. There’s some crazy goodness coming!