Last week I went to the doc and had a photos taken of my trachea. They put a teensy tiny video camera up my nose and down my throat. When the doc played the video back for me and I saw what I’ve been feeling I felt a wash over my body. It was a moment of OMG it’s real. I didn’t make it up. My next thought was Oh fuck it — What do I want to eat?

It’s funny (not funny) how we reflex back. How I reflex back. I wanted a brownie sundae. Or a cream cheese kolache. Or both. I wanted a margarita or a pina colada with a dark rum float and extra whipped cream. I wanted to eat + drink all my feelings. When I realized that we were, in fact at a hospital and the only thing I could likely get my hands on was a candy bar I thought… Snickers! I could go for a Snickers. It was like a Disney movie in my head. Brilliantly dressed up foods dancing past me promising to take away all this anxiety in my body.

Mind you all this is happening while I’m still in the exam chair, the doctor is talking to me and Cliff is sitting across from me asking his thoughtful questions about my health. They say a second set of ears is helpful for that moment when you glaze over. Apparently my version of glazing over takes me right to food negotiations.

And then it happened, as it’s happened many times before — I remembered that any amount of food or drink would not heal these feelings. They’d only serve as a (delicious) band aid that would likely lead to a stomach ache, headache and heart ache. I didn’t have a Snickers. Or a pina colada with dark rum float and extra whipped cream. I sat there. I put my hand on my chest and took as deep a breath as my little airway would allow and I said quietly to myself, “Lacy, I love you. You’re going to be ok. It’s ok to feel this way. You’re doing such a good job dear girl. Ask for what you need. Ask your questions. Let Cliff support you. You’ve got this.”

I came back to the present. I asked the very kind doctor my questions and still really appreciate her candor. We left and I continued to take deep breaths to help clear the giant lump of stagnated energy in my belly and throat.

This is the root of emotional eating for me. Emotions well up in such a big, scary way that I just want to numb it out and eat as much as possible to make them stop or at least shut them up for a moment. When I indulge and eat my feelings I’m left in a fog of regret and physical discomfort. When I come back to the present, sit with the feelings, watch them change, and breathe them out of me I feel like I have a tether. At first it’s wildly uncomfortable and then a little crack of light opens up and I begin to slowly but surely feel free from those guttural desires to numb and self medicate with food.

5 Steps to Help Navigate and Heal Emotional Eating ::

1. Observe your thoughts.

Do you go right to cream cheese kolaches or your chosen food drug of choice? Notice what comes up and resist the urge to judge or change it. Pay close attention. Can you begin to understand what’s causing your thoughts/emotions? Is it fear? Of what? That’s so important in establishing their validity.

2. Stay.

Fight or Flight is carnal. It’s your bodies innate sense of self preservation. When the going gets tough where do you want to run to? Food? Drink? Can you allow yourself to stay and sit with the emotion that you’re experiencing?

3. Breathe.

Notice your breath. Are you taking shallow breaths? Breathing more quickly? Bring a hand to your chest or your belly, lengthen and deepen your breath. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

4. Speak kindly.

Give yourself a word of encouragement. Tell yourself - I see you. I feel you. I hear you. Validating your own experience is a simple but powerful practice. You’re not silly for feeling this way. You’re quite possibly in the midst of negotiating some really tough stuff and some tenderness can go a long way.

5. Plan.

What do you need to move through this? A plan can help you stay present and grounded. Can you ask for support from friends and loved ones? Have a loved one hug you. Talk it through. Stumble and fumble through your words until you’ve got it all out. Keep going.

Emotional eating has really deep roots. Healing can be both gradual and spontaneous. Whisper to yourself that you’re willing to change, begin to notice when you want to turn towards food. Practice being present and sitting with your emotions instead of hushing them. You’re not alone, never have been and never will be. Part of being who you are meant to be in this life means releasing those old behaviors that are no longer serving you. You can move past emotional eating.

Cliff and I fly to Boston tomorrow for my tracheal dilation procedure on Tuesday and then we get to celebrate with dear friends for a wedding on Friday. I still have quite a bit of energy in my body and I’m staying with it. I’m fasting from negative emotions and seeing healing light in my body, especially in my trachea. I’m feeling lifted by the love of so many friends and family. I’m visioning myself going into the operating room and it’s standing room only in there. I’m picturing all the physical doctors and nurses and a spiritual healing team as well. On my spiritual team is an adorable gal named Ginger, my ancestors and all the love of every person I’ve ever met, encountered, passed on the street, hugged, made genuine eye contact with… I keep thinking of airport meetings. When you see someone you’ve not seen in so long… that moment when your eyes meet and you hug so tightly and there are happy tears. That’s the love I’m carrying with me into the OR and I hope that everyone in that room feels changed by my having been there with my big love parade.

May I bring your love with me too? Will you think of me on Tuesday at 12:30 Eastern and smile? I’ll be in my super cute hospital gown with frizzy hair and an amazing hair net thinking of you and seeing love envelope that room, all of Boston, all of the east coast and on and on and on. As I’m counting backward from 10 I’ll be seeing love frosting on all of us. ha!

Love,
Lacy

Health Update:

I went to the doc on Thursday here in Houston and had pictures taken of my trachea. There’s a little pin hole where there should be a big black hole. The images confirmed what I’ve been feeling and hearing in my breathing for some time. My trachea is in need of some intervention to bring relief and so I’ll have a dilation procedure very soon in Boston with the doctor who performed my resection in 2008.

I’m learning the difference between muscling through and standing in grace. My sister and I were talking on the phone and she recalled a moment when Chloe was recently born. She was having a conversation with her Doula, Haripriya telling her all about how cloth diapers just weren’t working and it wasn’t going like she planned and she was so stressed out about it and struggling… Haripriya listened to her story and she looked at her and so sweetly and calmly said “and then we bow.”

So as I was going on about how I don’t want this to be my story. How I don’t want to be this girl who can’t breathe. How I’m completely healthy except for this. How I’ve been eating anti-inflammatory foods, and meditating and and and… and Kayla said… “and now you bow.”

And she’s right. So I’m bowing. Not in defeat, though there have been many moments in the last few days when I’ve felt defeated. Or in sadness, though I feel that too. But in pure humility. In acknowledgement that there are forces much greater than me at work here. I’m allowing the illusion of control to be just that… an illusion. This isn’t working out the way I thought or the way I’d hoped but it’s all working out. And it’s all going to be ok.

I received an email this week from a dear friends sister and she said “You may not be physically breathing but you are running circles around this life! I love you and what you bring to this life!” Her words brought me to easy tears. I feel deeply seen. Held. Grateful. Supported through this. Sharing this story real time is counter to my usual nature. I’d typically withdrawal and go deep underground to take stock, figure it all out and then I’d emerge and keep going. This time is different. I see that somehow this is part of my sacred work and my continued healing and quite possibly part of helping others to heal too.

We’ve been living in our RV for 19 days now and she’s feeling like home. I’m so excited to share our most recent layers with you (and what’s been happening with me + the composting toilet)!

Living Room:

 new futonfuton mornings

ned pouf

Notice how Ned is in every.single.photo. Front of the bus is his territory. We spend mornings together here. I check out my phone and see what the day holds while he goes back and forth from my lap to the pouf.

After looking and looking for a proper fold out sofa to fit this tiny space we finally decided on a futon. It does fold down flat so we can have an overnight guest (Mema!). We’re still hoping to find a more traditional looking couch but this one is serving us well for now.

Kitchen:

what's in there ned

Ned has become a bit obsessive about this corner cabinet. Due to it’s location and all the wiring, propane line etc in there we weren’t able to fully gut the old carpeting out so it smells a little stale in there, like old RV. He’s probably attracted to the strong smell. We sit and watch him and make up reasons why he’s paying homage to the corner cabinet.

kitchen rug

The kitchen runner arrived. As soon as I rolled it out it felt like it had always been there. My friend, Jamie House picked it out for us! She’s been amazing through this entire project doing everything from hand picking the reclaimed wood pieces for the bedroom to finding accessories like this rug. There’s something so powerful about having other people believe in your dreams as much as you do. Jamie has held this vision for us from the very first moment I told her that we wanted to buy an RV and make it our home.

Bathroom:

bath threshold

Cliff + Dad installed the bathroom thresholds. Feels so good that we’re at the finishing stages on many of our renovation projects.

july 19 bathroom

This is what the bathroom looks like right now.

  • We still need to have an electrician out to help restore power to all the lights and most of the outlets throughout the RV.
  • Mom sewed a skirt for the sink as a temporary fix until we can have the cabinet guy out to build something around the sink. I love it! She attached it with sticky velcro squares and so far they’re holding great.
  • The little blue box used to hang in our kitchen in our last house. Planning to paint it the same color as the wall. It’s currently holding hand soap and TP, you know- the essentials!
  • We’re thinking we’ll use some of the left over reclaimed wood from our bedroom wall project to make corner shelves near the toilet.

july 19 bath

I’ve developed a h e a l t h y respect for our composting toilet. This morning I overflowed the ‘liquid tank’ and quickly transformed the single most satisfying pee of the day into a dirty job. We typically pride ourselves on being a low to no paper towel house hold but let me tell you this morning I was singing praises to Bounty select-a-size and gallon Zip Lock bags. Ned sat at the door and watched as I carefully soaked up the overflow and placed the wet paper towels into a Zip Lock bag. I couldn’t help but laugh. Cliff and I have been making full use of the toilet and smiling pile of poo emojis.

Last week I dumped and cleaned out the main tank (aka poop, paper, coconut coir). It was one of those HOT + HUMID Texas summer nights. The sky was just about to lose light. I was nearing the end of the project and so ready to be done, to shower, to sit with Cliff and unwind. I put my thumb over the water hose to create a stronger spray. As soon as the water hit the tank I knew I’d messed up. Soapy poo water sprayed right in my face. I immediately closed my mouth. It felt like slow motion as brown foamy drips fell from my nose, my chin, from my ear lobes and eye lashes. UGH. The voice inside my head said R E A L L Y! Is this really happening right now? I turned the water hose to rinse my face, finished the job and rounded the RV with the tank in hand, completely soaked. Cliff was trying to get the exhaust fan for the toilet to work again, it was dark now and curse words seemed the best option. So he’s throwing out his best dammit-shit-shit-shit and I’m standing looking at him holding the toilet covered in our shit-shit-shit. He looked up at me and started to give me the download of how poorly his project was going and I interrupted to say in the most pathetic little girl voice possible… “I sprayed our poop all over my face.” His response, “You win!”

 Bedroom:

bedroom wallmade the bedpin tuck curtains

I’m loving this bedroom. I’m loving that we took out those side cabinets to make room for our Cal King bed. It’s cozy and comfy and we all have plenty of room. I feel the most at home in this room so far.

Home Office:

deskleather

This space is technically in the bedroom. I’ve yet to use it as a work desk. So far it’s been the place where everything gets piled. We cut leather straps to make our own drawer pulls. Cliff used brass screws to attach them. We both super appreciate the softness of those straps each time we get out of bed in the middle of the night! I’m working on the bedroom art wall today. Hopefully I’ll finish that and the hallway divider curtain this weekend.

Hope you’re having a beautiful weekend!
Lacy

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Currently ::

  • Taste buds dancing thanks to this smoothie.

Ned nearly asleep at the wheel

  • Ned’s nearly asleep at the wheel. ; )
  • Looking at what’s ahead this week. It’s a biggie…
  • It’s my last week as Social Media Doula at Kelly Rae Roberts. Bitter sweet, indeed. We’ve seen some MAJOR growth in the last year and half. Professionally, personally. All so good.
  • Going to see Lady Gaga with my Aunt in Houston on Wednesday. It’s going to be a people watching party and I can’t wait!
  • Full calendar today so about to juice my heart out to create ease for the rest of the day.
  • Dr. appt this week to check on my trachea. Nervous. Excited. Ready.

fresh blooms

  • Surrounded by flowers in our RV. We’ve had fresh flowers here since moving in and I love it.
  • We’ve officially been living in our RV 14 days. Awesome.
  • My new internet service arrived and is a sanity saver! Free RV park wifi wasn’t cutting it. It’s called Millenicom. It’s mobile internet and essential for the RV full timer.

Hope you love this smoothie as much as I do! Have a beautiful week.

xo, Lacy

Blackberry Celery Ginger Mint Refresher

Ingredients
• 1 can organic coconut milk
• 1.5 frozen bananas
• 2 cup frozen blackberries (don’t you love the way they look when defrosting? so pretty!)
• 2 stalks of celery
• 1 stalk of mint (about 8 – 10 small leaves)
• 1 inch slice of peeled ginger

Directions
Blend all ingredients really well to help break up the blackberry seeds. Blends up the most beautiful rose color!

Serves 2

Lacy Young Blackberry Celery Ginger Mint 2

Currently. Cooking up some mung beans in the steamer + it’s totally working. Yay!

My usually very strong self is all kinds of mushy and tender today. I’m negotiating some serious breathing woes which have lead me to practicing some truth telling. The kind where I’m saying — I’m not ok. But I hope I’ll be ok.

There’s a literal blockage in my trachea that I’ve tried to clear with everything from crystals to brute force. I’ve tried healers of all sorts and have made some very dear friends in the process. I’ve been affirming that I breathe with ease. I’ve been managing with food, meditation, quality time with Cliff and Ned. Oh and making major life changing decisions like selling everything and living in an RV. Simplify, simply has been the calling in our hearts for so many reasons and we’ve been answering like it’s our job.

bedroomView from bed. TV hung, art wall started and piles waiting to be addressed.

It’s all consuming not to be able to breathe properly. My labored breathing has become like saying Voldemort in our family and I’ve hit that point where THIS is no longer working. I’ve tried not talking about it nearly all year. I’ve exhausted it really. It’s not a secret, never has been I just didn’t want to give it any power. Kind of like hiding under the covers so the boogie man can’t see you. The truth is that method is not working and this sucks and it’s hard. And so I’m leaning into the discomfort of it all. I’m allowing myself to grieve and feel deeply.

I am in touch with the fact that this isn’t for nothing. That resonates so deeply. I know it’s for something and I feel that most when I’m with my coaching clients. I love them so much. I love my work so much. We learn from experience and from wisdom. Somehow I feel this experience is allowing in more wisdom.

We are all carrying something. For some it’s visible or audible like my breathing. For others it’s hidden under the surface. No matter what you’re carrying I want you to know it’s ok to give yourself permission to take a minute and feel. Deeply. Tell the people who are close to you. Ask for what you need. Even if all you can ask for in the moment is someone to listen or just give you a hug.

I’ve made a doctors appt to get looked at and see just how closed/ open the airway is. I’ll keep you posted in my updates here.

lacy and kayla and chloe

This RV adventure is part of our deep desire to live fully. The dream, the best case scenario is that I’ll be able to take full, deep breaths. That I’ll be able to run as fast and far as I want to. That I’ll be able to jump and hike and twirl and sing 80′s songs at the top of my lungs with Cliff as we drive down the road. That I’ll be able to talk in complete sentences and never once have to stop and gasp for air. That I’ll be able to give full on speeches anytime I feel like it.

Would you hold that vision for me and with me?

we picked up our new home!

We picked up the RV from Johnny on Friday the 27th of June. I was giddy. I couldn’t stop smiling or saying I LOVE OUR LIFE! THIS IS SO PRETTY! Kayla + Brian + Chloe were headed into town and our paths crossed literally on the freeway so we pulled over to show them our new home! I love this picture of us. It just says it all. At the end of the day I was exhausted from joy.

chloe big bus

Chloe kept calling it our Big Bus. Cliff’s big bus. Lacy’s big bus. Ned’s big bus.

progress! curtains!

We moved out of our rental house and into the RV from the 28 – 30th of June. We are now comfortably parked in a Resort RV Community (which makes me giggle). They’re stretching it on the resort part but it is shiny and new with wifi and a pool. And bonus it’s close to Cliff’s work! Houston is a really big city and we wanted to be sure that what we’re saving in monthly bills didn’t get absorbed by a long commute. I’m officially working from the RV. Sitting at the kitchen table right now!

curtains!Mom made curtains for every window and we love them! We still don’t have a couch but it’s on the short list. It will live under this window.

We put all our extra stuff into mom’s garage and we’ve been going through deciding what stays and what goes. It’s getting WAY easier to let go of things now that we are in the RV. There’s a certain freedom in seeing the piles go and the space open up. I can feel it opening up inside of me too.

We’re getting to know the RV which is really code for comedy of errors. We’re continuing renovations and decorating. We still need to get an electrician out to fix the lights. We have two plugs that are working in the kitchen and one light in the hallway. The rest seem to be taking a break from their purpose in life.

Honestly, it feels good to sit still for a minute. We were hoping that a road trip to Boston at the end of this month for my dear friends wedding would be our maiden voyage but ole Barb (that’s what we’ve been calling her. Barb. Short for Rhubarb.) just isn’t ready for the open road. Barb is a pretty clear communicator.

new kitchenThat’s Mema’s hand in the corner there. She was on shelf paper duty! Hours upon hours were spent on making sure each drawer and cabinet were properly lined. A small fortune was spent on cork shelf paper.

I LOVE the new kitchen. L O V E I T. I was adamant about having the sink mounted under the counter. Cliff drove all over town to get the supplies needed and Johnny made it happen. I see it every day and I love it every day.

seriously what is that noise

We’re all learning how to live in a small space. Ned is doing pretty good though the door and the steps that fold out every time the door opens sends him running to the bedroom and under the covers. He hasn’t gone outside yet and I can’t blame him. It’s a lot of concrete. I brought him to work from home with me over at my mom’s yesterday and we spent some time in the yard together. I could just see his spirit getting fed. Sweet boy. I keep whispering to him that there is going to be lots of nature to explore very soon.

ned is 14

Ned turned 14 on July 1st so naturally I made a crown from cork shelf paper. ; ) I can think of about 1400 reasons why I love him. You know how some animals show up in your life and choose you. That’s us. He chose me, I was present enough to get it and sappy enough to cave in and take him home. I’m so glad I did. He’s a big piece of this RV adventure. Cliff and I were really craving simplicity and travel but we didn’t want to leave Ned behind. It feels really important to keep our little family together.

moving inmoving day piles

dad installed knobs

Dad came over to see the RV and installed all the kitchen knobs, shower curtain rod and bedroom curtain rods. The man knows how to use a drill! I had some legit childhood flash backs as he was asking me to hand him this tool or that one.

toilet going in

I used to joke that the secret to a happy marriage was separate bathrooms. We’ve not shared a bathroom for our entire marriage and now we share about 300 sq feet of living space with one bathroom and a composting toilet. We’re both still really happy that we got the composting toilet but we also take full advantage of using flushing toilets like it’s a total treat (because it is super nice not to have to carry away your own #1 AND #2). There’s a plastic jug in front (the one with the black handle on it) that holds the pee. We empty it every three days or so. The poop (and paper) goes into a bigger holding bin and will get emptied every 3 – 4 weeks. We add coconut coir for the composting bit.

bathroom details kale on wheels

Bathroom is coming together! Ombre shower curtain from Target. Rope handles from West Elm. Starfish pulls from Anthropologie. At some point we’ll have a basin built under the sink.

bathroom details

what we lack in wall space we make up for in cabinets

What we lack in wall space we make up for in cabinet space. I’ve started hanging our favorite pictures in the cabinets. I set up our smoothie station first since we use it almost daily. Makes me happy every morning when I open this cabinet. The print is a free download on my site! You can get yours here.

tea station

Another daily ritual around here is tea. Morning tea. Evening tea. Rooibus for him. Mint for me. Of course all the stuff on the counters will be taken down and put into bins when we’re on the road but as soon as we’re parked it will get set up again. The pea + carrot print is one of my faves. The decoupage frame is one I made ages ago. 2008 I think. I had it hanging in my studio at the rent house. I looked at it one day as we were packing up and noticed it reads ‘Take to the Highway’ right there front and center under our smiling faces. FULL BODY CHILLS.

reclaimed wood wall

We’re doing a reclaimed wood wall behind the bed. My friend, Jamie House hand picked each piece for us. Mom helped us lay it all out and Cliff started on it yesterday.

Cliff working on the wallreclaimed wood wall in progress

He will finish it up on his next days off this coming weekend. I can hardly wait to see it all done. I already love it so much.

curtains hung

The new curtains arrived! They’re actually pin-tuck shower curtains from West Elm. We used conduit for the rod (hung from the ceiling) and tied the curtains on with leather cord so they won’t make noise as we drive down the road. Mom made blackout curtains that velcro to the window so we can sleep in. We have our priorities. ; ) This is what it looks like right now, mid day, no lights on. Pretty awesome!

That’s the update from RV land.
Lacy

You can see all our RV posts here.
Subscribe to the blog feed here.
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Earlier this week a women asked me why my weight loss story wasn’t more of a central part of the information on my website. It was the best question I’ve been asked in a long time. It’s true, I lost 50 pounds by changing my relationship with food and doing the work that I now teach.

I don’t focus on the 50 pounds for several reasons. The first, weight is relative across the board. I talk to women + men every week who want to change the number on the scale. When I was 198 pounds at my biggest I was still someone else’s goal weight. Some 148 pound women want desperately to be 115 pounds. See what I mean?

Second, this process has been about so much more than physical weight loss to me. It’s been about finding myself. Finding peace and releasing the need to struggle. Oh how I struggled. I would work out like mad for three months at a time doing Body For Life contests and then I’d stop working out and go right back to eating the way I was before. I just recently threw away all of my before and after photos (though in this moment I wish I would have saved some of them to show you). The girl in those before photos felt desperate, gross, pushed to the edge of sadness and hopelessness. I didn’t feel beautiful. I felt like I could be if I did X,Y,Z. I’m here to tell you beauty is not conditional. You are beautiful because you are. I can’t tell you how many times I’d take a before photo and then sit on the couch and eat ice cream because TOMORROW was day 1. It was madness.

As I was packing and going through things in prep to move into our RV I found old journals. One from my senior year in high school. I wanted to lose 15 pounds. D e s p e r a t e l y. When I read the journal page I clutched my chest, took a deep breath and said ‘OH SWEET GIRL – you didn’t have 15 pounds to lose.’ I was tall, thin and relatively flat chested. I was all limbs and hips and still something inside wasn’t happy and so I created a number and decided I’d chase it. I chased those 15 pounds for most of my 20′s. I was hyper focused on weight and it was depleting my spirit.

I tried:

  • Infomercial work out videos. OMG my little sister, Kayla, can probably still quote the entire Denise Austin tape, Do It With Denise! And don’t forget Tony Little, the guy with the pony tail and the tight bike shorts that yelled YOU CAN DOOOOOOO IT! And then of course Tai Bo. And. And. And.
  • Body For Life. Over and over and over again. Those were the days of a cheat day. I would eat as much as I wanted all day long and then the rest of the week was 4-6 meals a day, chicken breast and chalky tasting protein shakes.
  • Famine weeks and feast weekends. You know because I’d been good all week and I deserve a break, right?
  • I’d starve myself all day and then eat at night. That, my friends, is the worst idea ever. It’s the Sumo Wrestler diet.

Those are the most memorable of many methods of self torture. It felt never-ending like I’d always struggle and strive to be something that I wasn’t. I thought the weight was the problem but it was merely a side effect of the imbalance in my body and my life.

And finally, the biggest reason I don’t focus on weight is because once I shifted focus away from the weight and perceived imperfections and towards nourishment and getting on the same team as my body…. well, e v e r y t h i n g changed. I realized that I’d spent my entire life to that point zoomed in on the things that I wanted to change. We draw to us what we’re thinking about. It’s creation 101 and it blew my mind! I learned the power of what follows ‘I AM’ you create in your life. All this time I’d been saying I AM TOO FAT and all I kept getting was the feeling of being too fat. Once I started saying I AM thin, healthy and strong I began to create this space inside. I call it my Can Do (maybe all that yelling Tony Little did planted a Can Do seed). Instead of feeling like a failure all the time I started to feel empowered to make small changes in the direction of thin, healthy and strong.

Do you see the difference? Do you feel the lightness that comes from thin, healthy and strong as opposed to the heavy feeling of too fat?

My small changes were teensy tiny in the beginning. I switched from white rice to brown. I started eating green things. I committed to preparing one meal at home per day. I bought veggies. Notice I said I bought veggies not that I ate them. That was a step for me. I bought them and then they’d go bad in the crisper. After a while I decided that I didn’t like throwing money away like that so I actually started to eat them. Every little step has been so valuable.

Along the way too I stopped thinking about losing weight and started thinking of it as releasing weight. We lose things we want to find, like our keys. We release things we’re ready to let go of forever, like unwanted pounds. That goes back to the lightness again. Doesn’t it feel so much better to think of releasing the weight!

I no longer weight myself or obsess about what size jeans I can fit into. I no longer feel confused by ALL the conflicting health information out there. I no longer feel guilt before, during or after eating. I no longer crave the foods that used to bring me comfort (ice cream, candy and cakes). I no longer look in the mirror and pinch or grab the bits that are a disappointment. I no longer feel frustrated about my body.

Me + this skin suit I’m in are besties. We listen to each other. We are a team (and a pretty darn good team at that). How about you? Are you ready to learn how to listen to your body? If something from this resonated with you and you’d like to take that small step to change your relationship with food, let’s talk! You can schedule a free initial consult right over here. There’s something pretty amazing about the combination of accountability + support + practical tools for change.

With love,
Lacy

One of my besties voxed me yesterday singing The Final Countdown and it could not have been more perfect.

It’s all go over here. Last week the Rv got egged, we found out our floor was back ordered til mid July and the painter backed out literally an hour before he was supposed to show up and start the job.

Eggs…

It was neighborhood kids, less than a dozen eggs, nothing crazy but it makes the list for dramatic effect.

new floor

Floor…

The guy who sold us the floor at Lowe’s called and said it wouldn’t get here in time for our RV adventure. I was touched that he remembered who we are, what we were doing. He was super nice about it all, really like that guy. I called all over town and found a place with cork in stock (super rare). Lumber Liquidators to the rescue. What was going to be a silvery cork is now a dark chocolate brown cork. It’s called Barcelos and it sounds best if you say it with an Antonio Banderas accent.

Lacy Young RV Reno Project with HGTV paint

Painter…

This one was a legit toughie. The painter we were going to use does super meticulous finish work. He texted an hour before he was supposed to show saying that his current job was running over and he was too busy. Wha? My actual text back to him was… SHIT! Yes, I’m very professional under stress. But really an hour before the appointment. COME ON! The painters we found to replace him did a piss poor job. When I say piss poor I mean over-spray on the screens and window frames and in the ceiling vent fans +++. Paint drips that are all globby and dried and several of the bottoms and insides of the cabinets didn’t get painted. The good news is that the ceiling looks great and it was awesome to be able to deliver it back to our multipurpose-whiz-master Johnny with at least a coat of paint on her. We needed the RV to be painted in one day and they did. So, that’s something.

my favorite carpenter new book shelf

The cabinet people wrapped up on Saturday. They replaced all the water damaged wood on the cabinetry, built a book case, created a shelf where the microwave used to be, and built two more cabinets in the very back above the bed where we ripped out the old cabinetry so that our Cal King mattress will fit. When he finished I said, “I’m going to hug you now!” and I gave him my best long Lacy hug and it was awesome. I’m going to have them build a cabinet around the bathroom sink once we are all moved in.

paintcolors of rv

Cabinetry was completed and paint happened Saturday (21st). We dropped it off on Sunday (22nd) at Johnny’s place which is an hour and a half away when there’s no traffic. We’re getting pretty good at making that drive. This guy is my hero at the moment. He’s a referral from my dad (did lots of work on their home) and I will be sending him a Christmas card for the foreseeable future. He’s full of CAN DO and does amazing work. He’s putting the cabinets back in, installing the cork floor, putting in the pebbles in the bathroom, installing the bathroom sink and faucet, installing the kitchen counter top, sink, 2 burner stove top, faucet, adding tile backsplash, putting in all the trim, adding bead board to the bottom of the bed platform, doing all the electrical +++.

uppers in

We are hoping to pick her up tomorrow all outfitted and we’ll have this weekend to move into the RV and out of our rental. Mom will be sewing curtains while Mema is putting in shelf liner and I’m unpacking into the cabinets, organizing as we go. Cliff will be loading in everything that goes underneath and getting it all squared away like he wants it.

What I’m learning ::

- This whole thing feels like playing golf with your boss. She/He’s looking to see how well you negotiate the game (especially when your ball flies into the woods). There have been some moments where I’ve calmly put down another ball and swung again (the floor) and there have been moments when I marched into the woods, curse words flying (the paint). I’m already laughing about it all so that’s a good sign. It’s pretty awesome observing myself. I’m pretty entertaining in all my humanness.

- Cliff and I are a super effective team. We’re juggling work, this reno project, the move and we’re still being super supportive + considerate of each other. There are piles and bins full of stuff in the living room but our evening routine of candle light, cup of something (red wine or tea, usually both in that order), soothy music and chatting about the day/ what’s next is still happening. It’s our soft place to land at the end of the day and it’s awesome. Some days we have both used up what feels like our word allotment for the day so we just sit and sip and breathe.

- Money is energy. You can draw it to you or block it from flowing. I knew that before this project but I’m really feeling it now. I’m seeing how money flows in our life. How we really do always have everything we need. When we found the mold I thought it was a doomed budget buster. It’s turned out to be such a gift. We will have a completely healthy and beautiful home now. Money has shown up in every way possible. There have been some really predictable ways via the garage sale + selling things on Craig’s List. There have been some unexpected ways via donations (thank you!) and I got two checks in the mail from random refunds that I never even knew were on the radar. One of the affirmations I use often is All the money I spend and earn brings me joy. I’m not kidding when I say that beginning working with a new health coaching client and then ordering our composting toilet brought me immense joy! It should arrive on Monday.

Highlights of the week so far ::

Mema is ready to clean

- Mema showed up yesterday with all her cleaning supplies totally decked out. She knocked on the door really loudly and when I opened it she had her hip all cocked out leaning on the broom with her little ruffle apron dangling there! We both cracked up. She said she really wanted to have a cigarette hanging out of her mouth too. That women can clean anything within an inch of it’s life. Seriously, you should see the fridge. It’s sparkling.

- Mom came over after work to hug me. It was perfect.

kale on wheels

- WE HAVE A LOGO! Angeles has done it again. She is a gift and I adore her. She creates from the center of love, always for the highest good. There was a moment maybe a year ago or more that I’ll remember for a very long time… I was having one of those days where I felt very alone in my business. Like a solo-preneur on an island. I emailed Angeles and she said something so simple but so profound, “we’re in this together.” She’s always been here with me from the beginning and I am deeply grateful. Is there a word more powerful than gratitude? If there is I’d like to use it for Angeles.

Thank you for everyone who’s been holding the 27th in mind! All is looking good that we’re going to be able to pull this off. Will be sharing updates on Instagram over the weekend as we’re moving in.

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Off to pack!
Lacy

Did you ever see My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Remember how the dad sprays Windex on everything? Cliff is getting like that with Neem oil around here! We use the pills, topically, in mouthwash and as a spray. It smells HORRIBLE but it works so well it’s worth it.

Native to India, the Neem tree provides a wealth of healing benefits. Primarily the bitter and cooling leaves are used, and are probably best known for their antibacterial and antifungal properties.

Neem in the garden::

In the garden, neem makes an effective and organic bug + fungus killer. Mix 1 part neem oil with four parts water, pour into a spray bottle and you’re ready to go. Make sure you shake well before spraying and coat the leaves well. For best results spray the plant once a week. It totally saved our lemon tree from being overtaken by bugs!

Neem in the bathroom::

Many brands of natural toothpaste, deodorant, soap, shampoo and mosquito repellant use neem oil. Last year Cliff had a bummer of a dentist appointment where they said that he had periodontitis. When he had his wisdom teeth out it caused skin pockets to form behind the molars that trapped food + bacteria and it basically lead to in infection in the bone. He had a successful dental surgery to remove that skin and clean everything up. Ever since I’ve been making him a DIY mouthwash with neem oil, peppermint essential oil, tea tree essential oil and filtered water. He has had a happy, infection free mouth ever since! The dentist was totally impressed.

Antibacterial Mouthwash | Lacy Young

Neem in your body::

Neem can be taken internally to reduce fevers, to purify the blood and kill parasites, it should only be taken under the recommendation and close supervision of a qualified health practitioner. If taken internally, it can be detrimental to children and animals, so make sure to keep it in safe place.

Neem on your body:

Neem oil (an extract of neem, usually in a base of olive oil) can be used topically to disinfect and heal the following conditions:
- eczema
- psoriasis
- ringworm
- skin itching
- skin infection
- skin sores and wounds
- athlete’s foot (and stinky feet)
- acne

You can find neem at local health foods stores. You can also find it online here.

To keepin’ it herbal, natural and oh so good,
Lacy

The guy who changed out the walls and put in the ceiling got the canopy open and it’s awesome! He took photos as he was working so I could add them to my blog post. Love that!

Transition is weird and stressful even when it’s good. This RV renovation project is testing me in what feels like every way possible. There’s still so much to pack up in our house even after the mega garage sale. We’ve decided that living in this RV will be a lot like living in a hotel. I’m t-r-y-i-n-g to widdle it down to having just over our day-to-day needs! That said, we are still convinced that we need 8 pots and pans for our 2 burner stove. LOL. These are the topics of conversation at our house right now.

We’re still optimistic that we will be able to get all the renovations completed in time to move in at the end of June, 13 days (counting today, because every day counts) from now.

Cliff and I have gone back to meditating together before bed to help soothe the abundance of energy that has set up camp in both our bodies. You know that night before a test feeling? We’re having that every night. The extra mediation is kind of helping. I mean, it’s helping but it’s not making everything all butterflies and rainbows, you know. We’re in it. Just really in it and at the end of the day we keep telling each other that it’s all going to be great and not to take everything so seriously.

I’ve started saying affirmations again with increasing regularity to drown out the nay-say-er that lives in my head. It’s like I’ve gone back to when I first learned about the power of positive thinking. The channel in my mind is on all affirmations, all the time. I’m keeping it tuned to that station to drown out that shadow self telling me I’m a complete and total fool for thinking we could pull this off in this amount of time, with our budget, both working full time, etc etc etc.

On repeat in my head lately:

I focus on what I want and draw it to me.
My dreams come true.
I picture abundance for myself and others.
Everything I do brings me aliveness + growth.
My energy is focused + directed toward my goals.
I always choose the path of most light.
I congratulate myself often.
I forgive myself, knowing I did the best I knew how at the time.
I love the process of getting there as much as being there. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!
My beliefs create my reality. I create what I want easily + effortlessly.
I expect only the best to happen and it does.

ceilingThe bead board ceiling is done! And we love it! It will get painted white to help open the space up.

clean walls with dirtyOn the left… the old moldy walls and carpet ceiling. On the right brand new walls, clean, mold free and primed for painting!

big platform

Cliff put the new bed platform in! Yay!

windows sealed

All the windows were pulled out and sealed! It started raining today and I ran outside to the RV and stood inside inspecting every window. Looks GOOD!

RV Floor

We’re doing pebbles in the bathroom Zen Fiji Cream Pebbles by Bliss ordered from a local flooring store. Cork flooring for the rest of the RV in Sage ordered from our local Lowe’s.

The pebbles are very similar to ones we used in the yoga studio project when building Breathe in Los Gatos. I love them and Cliff totally loves them so we’re using them in our bathroom. I believe that we carry all our past experiences with us, that they mold and shape who we are now. It makes me smile that this RV is going to have literal reminders of some of the most formative pieces of our journey. Besides that they give you a little foot massage and that’s awesome!

Since we are a smart car + RV household we drove the RV to IKEA last Sunday to get the new counter top! Ikea butcher block. Inexpensive. Awesome. We also got a faucet to go with on the new (to us) bathroom sink that we purchased at the Habitat For Humanity ReStore. Love that place. We will definitely be going back there before this is all said and done.

ReStore

We bought the white sink in the basket for $10 for the kitchen at Habitat. It’s a heavy old cast iron Kohler. I was thinking we’d get it resurfaced to fix the chips until we realized it costs as much to resurface a sink as it does to buy a new one. Whoopsie. So now we have a beautiful old sink that might look lovely in someone’s garden! It you want it, stop on by! It’s yours!

Bathroom Sink

This will be our bathroom sink. It’s a hair dresser wash basin! Fun, right!

Up next:

  • Cabinet people will be out tomorrow morning to start work on changing out the water damage and rotted pieces of wood on the backs of all the cabinets that Cliff and Cody took out.
  • The painter comes out Friday to give us a quote.
  • The floors come in Monday (fingers crossed).
  • If all goes to plan we will drop off the RV to have it all put back together starting Tuesday. Cabinets in, install kitchen counter top, 2 burner stove, both sinks + faucets, the bathroom floor, kitchen backslash (hopefully).
  • And then… wouldn’t it be cool if we could have it back by the 27th or 28th to move in over the weekend!
  • Ooooh and then we have to actually find a place to park our new mobile abode. We drove by a few places in our area that were very sad. Basically just patches of cleared land with dirt and full sun and skinny, stray dogs wondering around. Sad. If you know anyone with a beautiful spot of land near Humble, Texas that we could park on for a bit that would be oh so wonderful!

Please hold the 27th in mind! That it all works out with so much ease and we’re drinking wine and scratching our heads over where to put the rest of my clothes by the 28th!

Getting there,
Lacy

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We bought our new mobile abode May 28th, got it home the 29th and began exploring how it all works. As soon as we had a pretty good idea we started tearing it all apart! DEMO IS FUN! Mom + I started with ripping the old wall paper out and that’s when we found MOLD near the windows, lots of it.

door mold shit theres moldmold

These are my “Oh man, this is really bad!” eyes.

yeap it's mold
Cliff immediately bought a mold test kit and we started taking samples. It grew, and grew, and grew! The silver lining… now we get to change way more than we’d planned! It’s going to be a healthy, beautiful home!

bathroom selfies

Thank your lucky stars this isn’t smell-a-vision. Old, stagnant pipes full of hair and goo and sludge. EW.

bathroom tile coming up

Aunt Mary took out the bathroom floor + peeled the old paper off the walls! I am so happy to see that pink floor go. Yay!

bedroom first night and demo

This is what the bedroom looked like the first and only night we’ve slept in the RV. And this is what it looks like now! We’re making space for our Cal King bed! After sleeping with our feet hanging off the end we decided having our own bed was an absolute must. It means losing closet space and still totally worth it.

kitchen before and just getting started living room change

It’s been a bit of a challenge because these babies do not come apart the same way they went together. I was on Xacto knife duty cutting carpet out of the bottoms + tops of cabinets, cutting around wall paper and trying my best to extract all the old stuff.

it won't budge

The cabinets themselves were a whole different story. All the screws are out of this and it will still support ALL of Cliff + Cody’s weight! We all hung off of it, Cody did pull ups and still, not even a wiggle. The solution… CROW BAR + brute force. All better now. Best demo crew ever, by the way! And the right price. We paid Cody in beer. ; )

ready to hand off

We handed her off totally gutted last weekend. Right now she’s getting her windows sealed, new mold free walls, a new ceiling and new floors!

kitchen demo in progress no more carpet

Good things ::

  • Early last week Cliff had a genius idea, “Hey babe—- How about we see if the old RV paperwork has the previous owners phone number? And call him to answer our Q’s!” John answered the phone and he’s our new BFF! He and Cliff talked for over an hour. He was so glad to hear it went to a good home. We’re going to meet up with him at some point in the journey to show him what we’ve done with the place. And likely get him to teach us how a few more switches, buttons and levers work in person.
  • I’m remembering how good it feels to sweat til you can wring out your clothes. Seriously satisfying. Makes me miss my hot yoga days.
  • I’m learning that Cliff is pretty incredible with his hands. O.k. I mean, I already knew that but there’s something amazing about seeing him in action.
  • We’ve said “we sold it in the garage sale” more times than I can count. “Hey- do we have a paint scraper?” “We sold it in the garage sale.” “What about a rubber mallet?” “Sold it too.” Although totally inconvenient in moments, it feels oddly freeing.
  • Last week as we were working three gals who made purchases at our garage sale stopped by and came into the RV. One women squealed and said, “YOU GOT YOUR RV! We just had to stop! We are so excited for you!” It was really sweet. I love that people are driving by, seeing it and cheering us on. I love that we invited them to be a part of it all with our awesome garage sale signs!
  • The neighbors have been over to see the demo in progress and have been really lovely about having a giant RV parked in the street. We’ve promised them post cards from the road + an open house as soon as she’s ready!

What’s Next ::

  • We are headed to Habitat ReStore this weekend to see if we can find sinks, faucets, drawer pulls, etc. We’re planning to re-purpose as much as we can to keep reno costs down. Hoping to find tile for the bathroom this weekend too!
  • Cabinet restoration will begin soon. The backs need replacing from water damage and the drawer slides are old + rusty.
  • Then… paint!

Over and out from RV central,
Lacy

P.s. You can see all our RV posts here.
Subscribe to the blog feed here.
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Coming up with new smoothie combos is still one of my favorite things. May your taste buds delight in these two. Blueberry Lemon Mint is on repeat over here lately. It’s THAT good!

Tips for Preparing Blueberries

    • if conventionally grown wash briefly just before use + pat dry
    • if wild or organic you can avoid rinsing them at all (especially if you picked them yourself)
    • if frozen thaw well + drain prior to using
    • if frozen + using in smoothies pull from freezer and place into blender, no rinsing or thawing necessary

Blueberry Lemon Mint

This smoothie combo came to me in the shower and OMG it’s REFRESHING! It’s seriously the first time that Cliff has finished his smoothie before me. That’s saying something around here!

Ingredients
• 2 cups almond milk
• 2 frozen bananas
• 1 cup frozen blueberries
• 1/2 lemon
• 1/4 cup (or less) fresh mint leaves
• 1 tbsp coconut butter

You could also add a handful of spinach to make it a green smoothie!

Directions
Blend almond milk + mint leaves (+ spinach if you want) til smooth. Add the rest of the items and blend again. Enjoy!

Serves 2

Razzle Blue Almond

Lacy-Young-Razzle-Blue-Almond

For those fruit smoothie kinda mornings. Cuppa, cuppa, cup recipe:

Ingredients
• 1 cup almond milk
• 1 cup frozen raspberries
• 1 cup frozen blueberries
• 1 tbsp almond butter
• 1 tbsp chia seeds
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 dates

Directions
Blend all ingredients until smooth. Enjoy!

Serves 1